David Fincher went off on a really queer tangent involving E.T. to explain why Scarlett Johansson wasn’t cast in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. All he really needed to say was, “Anyone with eyeballs can see she is all wrong for the role.” Film Drunk, as is their boyish wont, has a slightly NSFW photo of ScarJo on this article. (Film Drunk)
Speaking of bosoms, a plastic surgeon, in an attempt to nail down the “ideal breast shape” examined a number of Page Three Girls. (Britishism!) Yes, I believe I saw this on an episode of “How I Met Your Mother.” (Daily Mail)
Speaking of television, “The Walking Dead” had the queerest product placement in the premiere. You remember that tool belt that young Carl Grimes found and exclaimed over? Yeah, weird, right? (Product Placement NYT)
Patty O’Green sent me this interesting article on van Goh that alleges Vincent did not, in fact, kill himself. Feh. It’s like they haven’t even seen that Space Turkey episode of “Doctor Who.” (BBC)
Writer Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket) has a few thoughtful comments on the Occupy Wall Street movement. In typical Snicket fashion, the thoughts are expressed simply and clearly in a childlike but never condescending tone. (Occupy Writers)
What’s more childlike, attacking your husband with cupcakes or having your wife arrested for attacking you with cupcakes? (Gawker)
This story, of Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and the Llama getting to put their prints outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater makes me want to attack the world with cupcakes. (MovieLine)
Folks, I am disgusted, Zach Braff has tweeted a photo of himself screwing one of his fans. (BioTV)
The Girl Scouts have updated their merit badge system. I’d like to think Leslie Knope is responsible and that Cupcake Throwing is on the updated list. (Fashionably Geek)
What’s better than one awesome 5-second film? 20 awesome 5-second films spliced together for maximum viewing enjoyment. It’s the easiest way to see Patton Oswalt explode. (Uproxx)
You may have seen this already, but too many of my little link spotters sent it my way for me to ignore. So, here it be, Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses. (TMNN)
Speaking of geek things, here’s a pretty great gallery from NYCC featuring my third favorite costume: Unsexy Slave Leia. (NY Daily News)
Speaking of costumes, one of the gorgeous ladies over at Hot Ink has a great list of costumes for couples. For those of you without a costume mate, you can be the Salt to my Pepa. (Hot Ink Reviews)
Paul Bettany is presumably not in costume but, rather, just rocking an ascot and horn rims for fun. (Celebitchy)
Thanks to mswas and Daniel Carlson for sending me this video of all seven timelines from last week’s “Community” being played simultaneously. It’s impossible to follow, but fun to try.
Finally, a clever ad chock full of celebrities for The Clinton Foundation. Oh, Damon, please be in everything.