Scarlett Johansson Didn't Do Half The Math Section On Her SAT?! That Was A F*cking Option?!?
Ah, October. When young man’s fancy turns lightly to thoughts of pumpkin spice lattes. I love the crap out of this month because it starts with my birthday and ends with the greatest holiday of all time: Halloween. So slap on some face paint and enjoy these adorable homemade geeky costumes.(Uproxx)
Speaking of the Star Wars saga, Unreality has four rules for making the movies great. And that’s what we all want. RIGHT, JJ? (Unreality)
At least, at least Abrams has admitted that he has a lens flare problem. Knowing’s half the battle, bro. (NerdApproved)
Listen, I’d like to tell you I didn’t click through to this article JUST because of the phrase “sperm wars.” But I’d be lying to you. Anyway, this article, Sperm Wars: Revenge Of The J-never mind, is about the way biological battles for supremacy can create new species. Oooooh, and there’s a nifty visual. (io9)
Listen, I’d like to tell you I didn’t click through to this article JUST because of the phrase “pornopticon.” But I’d be lying to you. Again. The whole piece, about Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s new film Don Jon, is great. “He likes the simple pleasures of a G.T.L. life, but also strives for something just beyond his grasp. He’s a bro, but he’s a sensitive bro. In Jon’s case, it’s harder to reach because one of his hands is chronically busy.” (Grantland)
Let’s all gaze through the pornopticon at the lovely Idris Elba, shall we? In a new cover story for Esquire he admits to always being two drinks away from landing in the tabloids. Let’s not tell him we’re all two drinks away from landing outside his house, shall we? (Celebitchy)
The amazing, brilliant Michael Murray is expressing his off-beat love for language over at Random House now. Give him a read. (RH)
Everything’s terrible today and we’re at a complete loss to describe the mad wankery of the US government. Thankfully, the NY Daily News has us covered. Keep scrolling. All the way down. There it is. (Vulture)
But, no matter what, Obamacare has arrived. Want a handy round-up of everything you need to know about it? Here it is, pets. (The Week)
SERIOUSLY, NOT DOING HALF THE MATH SECTION ON YOUR SATS WAS AN OPTION? I guess, if you’re the lovely and talented ScarJo it is. Maybe if your collarbone glistened just so, you could have skipped the long division too. For a bit of sneering schadenfreude, check out Johansson’s SAT score and then tell us all how much smarter you are than the pretty gajillionaire. (Interview
Okay but I do give you the freedom to mock the pretty gajillionares that make up this cruise from hell. “Rich Assholes And Horny Undergrads?” What could possibly go wrong? (Gawker)
Oi! David Duchovnerds. You can get the complete collection of the X-Files series and films for a steal today. And today only. (Slashfilm)
Flavorwire has a list of great new books to read in October. I’ve heard good things about the Dave Eggers but can only speak personally about Daniel Alarcón’s At Night We Walk in Circles. It’s amazing. (Flavorwire)
And in my favorite piece of writing about the Breaking Bad finale, Dustin tells all the critics who call it “too perfect” to shove it. (WG)
Finally, conversations with a two-year old? Oh. Oh yes please.