Ryan Gosling Asks Us To Imagine What It Would Be Like To Share A Bed With Him. Way Ahead Of You, Baby Goose.
Oh, my attractive abaci and polyamorous polynomials, do you feel neglected when I get all literary up in this joint? Should I throw a little more love to you, my pulchritudinous pocket protectors. Well, next time you’re feeling lonely, cuddle up with one of these Statistical Distribution Plushies. I must say, the Weibull Distribution is rather dashing. (Nerd Approved)
You know where I’m going with this dashing transition, don’t you? Here are some photos of our Baby Goose on the red carpet at Cannes sporting what could charitably be called a Rat Pack-inspired lounge shirt. But it’s totally his pj’s, mes amis. (Celebitchy)
One more Celebitchy link for you today because I can’t pass up an excuse to sneer at Scarlett Johansson. Here she is in a photoshoot for W dressed as Marlene Dietrich and BUSTER KEATON? At least she admits she was drunk when they came up with the concept. (Celebitchy)
You know I love me some Celebitchy, but my other favorite gossip site, Evil Beet, is currently hiring. So, my sharp-tongued snarkfaces, if you’ve got some excess vitriol and need an outlet, apply today! Feel free to list me as a reference, my standards are very low. (Evil Beet)
But, apparently, the Person In Charge of the Rapture has very high standards. Here is a flowchart to determine whether you will be moving on up this Saturday. Unfortunately, whoever wrote this flowchart made a typo, so clearly they are no longer One of the Chosen. (Blame It On The Voices)
I know, I know, the Rapture thing is quite stupid and that chart has no real-world application. This chart, however, will prove VERY useful when playing Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock. I, for one, am always forgetting that Spock Vaporizes Rock. (I Love Charts)
Speaking of things that need vaporizing, that Racist psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa may lose his job at The London School of Economics. Yaaaay! Let’s celebrate by looking at these gorgeous “Black Beauties” put together by our favorite Angry Black Lady. That last one on the right? I’d hit that. (Angry Black Lady)
The POTUSILF gave a fantastic speech regarding the Middle East yesterday. If you missed it and don’t want to read the full text, I’ve word-clouded it for you. Um, I think the message is pretty plain, non?
Speaking of reading, my lying Lannisters and stoic Starks, the “Song of Ice and Fire” books (ahem, that includes “Game of Thrones”) are going for, well, a song right now. Stock up before Winter gets here. (Amazon)
While we’re on the subject of heroism, Charles Barkley scored a lot of points with me today for this interview where he speaks out against homophobia in the world of professional sports. Tip of the gay beret to Kballs. (Washington Post)
But no one is more heroic to me today than Mr. George Takei and his “It’s okay to be Takei” campaign. The stupid TN bill actually passed today. I am flabbergaysted. It’s an unmitigayted disaster. I don’t know what to gay.
PS, BTW, WTS, who let a camera crew into my kitchen?!?! WHO SAID YOU COULD BROADCAST MY PATENTED TRAIL-MIX PANCAKE RECIPE. Imma sue. But first, I’m going to drink.
Finally, my pets, this extra bonus video is so you can head into Rapture weekend with a warm and glowing soul. It’s a wedding video and while you may not think some stranger’s wedding will make your soul glo, you’d be wrong. Also, is that bride wearing slippers to her wedding!?! CLEVER GEHL.
Joanna Robinson acknowledges that she may have been slightly suckered in by the Zack Braffian qualities of that wedding video. Also, if you are in doubt, “soul glo” is not a typo. Educate yourself. Email! Twitter!