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Rape Victim Could Have 'Closed Legs', Says Lawyer, Plus Parents Have Found Yet Another Way to Be Insufferable

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | November 14, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | November 14, 2013 |

Judd Apatow will produce a Key and Peele movie, he has announced, and this news couldn’t be any better after their appearance on The Daily Show last night, where they helped the news team identify racism. (Vulture)

Check out how much the characters from The Walking Dead have changed since early seasons, especially Hershel, whose waistline certainly has not been affected by the zombie apocalypse. The walkers, too, have been decomposing at a rapid rate over four seasons. (Uproxx)

People magazine has allegedly chosen the worst sexiest man alive in the history of sexiest men alive. (Celebitchy)

I’m sure you’ve already seen the incredibly unflattering Kerry Washington cover on Lucky magazine this month, but you have not lived until you have read the Fug Girls’ description of it. I ugly laughed so hard I should be on the next over of Lucky. (GFY)

This can’t be accurate, can it? Check out Eric Roberts’ filmography since, say, 2012. How many listings can you count before you just give up, there are way too many, seriously, EricRobertshasbeenin100moviesinthepast3years. (IMDB)

Over in Australia, a lawyer put forth a nauseatingly terrible defense, after his client, a bouncer, raped a woman, arguing that the victim should have “closed her legs.” The lawyer should probably “shut his mouth.” (Stuff)

One reality celebrity I’ve never heard of has suggested that another reality celebrity I’ve never heard of has a smelly hoo-ha, and that she could use some vagina deodorant, and now I’m glad I have no idea who these celebrities are. YOU’RE WELCOME. (Dlisted)

Here’s a deep, deep cut: 7 Reasons You Should Rewatch ‘Blankman’ Tonight. I don’t think I’ve heard that title since the day after it opened in theaters. (Underscoopfire)

Here’s the sad tale of the Roomba that committed suicide. (Geekologie)

This piece on how the McDonald’s McRib explains the rest of its menu is strangely fascinating. Also, disgusting. (The Atlantic)

This is pretty much exactly how a conversation would go between a couple who dressed up in Breaking Bad outfits for their engagement photo and someone who has never heard of Breaking Bad. (Videogum)

“Instead of rising to meet Spader’s slithery performance, The Blacklist stoops to get out of his way … Around his gaudy lead, series creator Jon Bokenkamp has assembled an unprecedented quorum of bores, a murder of stiffs the likes of which is rarely glimpsed outside of a morgue.” Way harsh, but I am completely invested in Spader, nevertheless. (Grantland)

These parents paid a nanny-consultant thousands of dollars to teach their nanny how to make gluten free kale so that their daughter would grow up to be a spoiled little sh*t. (NYTimes)

Kurt Sutter is talking with FX about a Sons of Anarchy prequel, but it won’t be the prequel you might expect. (WG)

For all of you movie wonks, or you wonky movies, here’s the 25 best unreleased movies of 2013, many of which you’ll never get to see, and many others you will expressly demand, only to ignore them when they eventually come to theaters, because we are a society driven by faux rage. RAGE, RAGE, AGAINST THE DY … ooooh! Shiny light! (

Go to here. Click “Like.” If it gets enough “Likes” to win, I will randomly select one of you and send you a Pajiba T-shirt. You’ll also make an elementary school student incredibly happy. (FB)

This amazing trailer parody of Gravity set in an IKEA will speak to anyone who has ever been inside an IKEA.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.