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'People' Names the Sexiest Man Alive and It's Neither One of These Guys So What's the Point?

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | November 14, 2017 |

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | November 14, 2017 |

I like Tracee Elis Ross’s sleeves. They’re real big. - (GFY)

I wonder if Tracee goes shopping with her mom, Diana (and Diana’s fanny pack) at Marshall’s? I can’t even tell you what heaven I would be in if I ran into DIANA FUCKING ROSS and TRACEE ELLIS ROSS at Marshall’s! I mean, can you even imagine? No, the answer is no, you cannot even imagine. - (Dlisted)

Barbie has introduced its first hajib-wearing doll. - (People)

Speaking of People magazine, they chose the Sexiest Man Alive for 2017, and it is not Lin. Or The Rock (again). Or anyone of consequence. In this TRAINWRECK OF A YEAR, they opted to throw no one a bone. They chose Blake “Who Gives a Shit” Shelton.

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It’s gotten so bad for Roy Moore that even Sean Hannity has now turned on him (or, at least, he got smart after all of his sponsors started dropping him).

Ok, so, in celebrity soap opera-ish shenanigans: Try to follow along (or mostly, just pretend you give a shit for, like, 4 seconds) - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez used to be A Thing. Then they broke up. Selena started dating The Weeknd (who is a person and has a real name - Abel). Then they broke up. Selena is now back together with Justin Bieber, who, btw, has a reaaaaaaaaaaaalllly awful full stomach/chest tattoo and ohgod, it’s really bad. Now The Weeknd (who’s missing an “e” in his name) is dating one of Justin Bieber’s exes. Also, he got a dog. Super. Some days I hate this job. - (Celebitchy)

NO, DEVIL FISH! Away with you! - (Newsweek)

It’s hard to imagine grandparents as ever being young and cool, but when there’s photographic evidence, hot damn! - (Bored Panda)

I might catch Murder on the Orient Express when it shows up on HBO or something. Maybe. - (Lainey)

One Clark Gregg is good. TWO Clark Greggs is even better!

A few years ago CoffeeShopReader saw Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant in an airport bookstore. She noted it and moved on. This year she enjoyed another of Hayes’ novels and thought she’d dive into his catalogue while traveling. Despite the title, the short stories are neither uninteresting or unadventurous. "While Fred himself may not have changed in terms of personality, his mundane life does get exciting." What’s your perfect read while traveling? (Cannonball Read 9)

If you’ve never purchased anything from Penzey’s Spices (or if you’ve never heard of them), I think you’d love them. The owner, Bill, writes some great weekly-ish articles that have centered around politics over the past year, and they have amazing deals on spices regularly. Also, their spices are very potent and delicious! They’re hand-filled, too, so when you open one, it is filled TO THE BRIM! I know this from personal experience and from almost spilling several of my jars of Penzey’s spices. Check them out.

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Lainey is the copy editor & linkmaster. You can Tweet at her on Twitter.