This list of celebrities who very narrowly sidestepped tragedy gave me anxiety goosebumps. Also, it’s a good lesson to never feel bad about oversleeping after a night of heavy drinking. You never know when that hangover will save your life. (Uproxx)
Speaking of mid-air near-disasters, remember when Paris Hilton got “pranked” into thinking her plane was going down. Well, it turns out she was in on the whole thing. And not only did she get more publicity out of it than she’d seen in years, but she also upwards of a million dollars. (Celebitchy)
Rolling Stone’s profile of Kim Kardashian is… strange. Not just because the woman has basically nothing to say, ever, but because the interviewer uses descriptors like “jungle Aphrodite escaped from a forest of big-booty nymphs.” (Defamer)
Here’s the first official full trailer for Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp. We’re so close, you guys!
Jim Carrey’s anti-vaxxer Twitter rant was gross enough on its own. Now it’s come out that he used picture of a 14-year-old Autistic boy to be the face of his bullshittery without permission, and that boy’s mother is PISSED. (BuzzFeed)
Clarence Thomas said some really weird things about slavery, internment camps, and marriage equality, and George Takei did NOT take kindly to them. (Mediaite)
Jake Gyllenhaal’s Little Shop of Horrors opened in New York last night, alongside the original Audrey, Ellen Greene. Click through to hear his surprisingly impressive bootleg “Suddenly Seymour.” (Lainey)
"San Antonio has the Alamo. Austin has the capital. Dallas has the assassination of John F. Kennedy." Cannonballer Caitlin_D grew up in a suburb of Dallas and has always been interested in her city’s stamp on history. She highly recommends Parkland by famed Charles Manson prosecutor, Vincent Bugliosi. "He creates a well rounded story that’s full of detail without creating the feeling you’re reading a textbook." Just how much do you know about those four days in November? (Cannonball Read 7)
Happy long weekend, everyone! In lieu of the usual end-of-week cute animals, here’s Channing Tatum doing things with his hips.