Okay, let’s get this out of the way quickly because I’ve run out of creative ways to call George Lucas a jerkface. If you haven’t heard, Lucas is adding a bit to the Blu-Ray edition of Return Of The Jedi where Vader screams “Nooooooo” as he (Dusty Old Spoiler Alert!) kills the Emperor. It’s just, I’m baffled, I’m angry, I don’t know why he won’t leave well enough alone. Hasn’t he plunged his revisionist fingers into our childhood enough? And, like some sad collector, I’m still holding on to my original trilogy on VHS even though I no longer own a VCR. In short, Lucas, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” (Cinema Blend)
While we’re on the subject of internet-fueled backlash, the ever-snide Eric Snider wrote a piece called “The Internet Reacts To The Upcoming Film Version of The Wizard of Oz 1939.” Same as it ever was. (Eric Snider)
BREAKING NEWS! A bunch of kids from the Goondocks found One Eyed Willy and his trove of rich stuff! Okay! Fine! Actually, a group of scientists successfully identified a sunken trove as Blackbeard’s ship. Still, this calls for some Cyndi Lauper. (National Geographic)
Apparently, Hurricane Irene has stirred up a hive of feral bees and two NY Beekeeper Gangs are engaging in a turf war about it. A) There are Beekeeper Gangs? B) THERE ARE FERAL BEES? C) Can’t we all agree that these bees should be dumped on Nicolas Cage in anticipation of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance? (NYT)
Speaking of vengeance, when that British rag (see, I can be taught!), The Daily Mail attacked Hayden Panettiere, known wit and scribe Eliza Dushku put fingers to laptop to compose a scathing response. I’m not a fan of either of these women, but I applaud Dushku for closing her letter with “Seriously, Sir, for shame.” I have always wanted to write that. (Celebitchy)
Another wooden actor has earned my admiration today. Over on Reddit, someone posted this old story of how Keanu donated a hefty slice of his Matrix earnings to the Costume and Effects people. Pretty classy, Neo. (ABC)
Whoa, anyone in New Jersey know kung-fu? Word is disgraced Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi has an estate in Englewood and may attempt to live out his exile there. Oh, Muammar, you scamp, what do you think this is, Argentina? (Mental Floss)
Speaking of lovable scamps, check out this fantastic Loki shirt. I love it, but I’m more of a Greek Myths girl, so ring me when you find a Hermes (no, not Hermès) shirt. (Better Myths)
You want evidence of gods? I got your evidence right here. Check out the splendor of this dying (dead? deceased? pining for the fjords?) star. Even (or maybe especially) if your god is Science, this photo will make you mumble a hasty prayer. (NASA)
While we’re on the subject of science, this study says that even the flora in our own bodies can drive us crazy. That’s right. We’re driving ourselves crazy. What a f*cking piece of work is man. (Science Mag)
And, personally, I think you would have to be crazy to cycle across the country, but the lads at Band Cycle are doing just that and chronicling the local music scene while they’re at it. I mean, it’s crazy, but it looks fun. (Band Cycle)
And in other music news, I…I’m just going to copy the headline of this article. “Jack White Collaborates With Insane Clown Posse to Cover Mozart. For Real.” (Pitchfork)
One of my favorite sex-crazed commenters, the rapacious jM sent me this fun and interactive site that chronicles the sexual history and habits of certain British residents. I played with it for an hour. It’s a statistician’s wet dream. (Sexperience)
But when it comes to chronicling the British, nothing beats this extraordinary ad that purports to cover the history of East London’s fashion, music and dance of the past 100 years. It’s been making the rounds, but just in CASE you hadn’t seen it. Enjoy.
I’ve been fooled before with fake sports videos but I’d like to believe this rhythmic gymnast is for real and that all the Ronaldinhos and Zidanes of the world should take note.
Joanna Robinson knows that “feral bees” are just ones that used to be domesticated and are now free to live out their bee-y days as they see fit. She should be happy for them. Instead the term “feral bees” send her into paroxysm of fear.