Good afternoon, man beans and lady bits. I’ll be covering Pajiba Love again today for the lovely and marvelous JoRo (and tomorrow, too). But don’t worry: She’s not going anywhere. In fact, back in December, in exchange for the meaning behind the word “Pajiba,” Joanna agreed to a lifetime of indentured servitude to the site. TK let her off the chain for a few days to allow the bruises to heal. She’ll be back on Thursday.

Let’s kick it off with the best thing I’ve read this week: Our pal Eric D. Snider offers a warning in this week’s hilarious must-read Snide Remarks: “Jews Your Words Carefully.” (Eric D. Snider)

Here’s another warning to you all to keep your super-intimate details off the Facebooks. Bad-mouthing a cheating ex is all fun and games until you get owned. (I Wish I Didn’t Know)

Hey dog lovers: Joanna would never be cruel enough to post a link to this list, but I’m not Joanna. I’m the asshole. Here are 9 Movie Dogs that Should Have Been Put to Sleep. (Screenjunkies)

The guys over at Uproxx are obsessed with two things: “Community” and GIFs. It’s not a bad obsession to have when the result is the Best of Troy Barnes. (Uproxx)

Diablo Cody is rightfully bummed that Bobcat Goldwaithe recently made a movie that lumped Cody in with reality TV and “Jersey Shore.” Low blow, dude. I love you, man, but before you attack a talented screenwriter for one movie (a great one, I might add), consider how you spent the first 20 years of your career. Also, Police Academy. #neverforget (Moviefone)

You know that Bonnie and Clyde movie they were making with Hilary Duff, but then decided to shitcan Hilary Duff? They found a replacement. I don’t watch “True Blood,” so you guys will have to make your own assessments. (The Playlist)

RETRO MUPPET CONCERT POSTERS. You’re welcome. (The Curious Brain)

Long-time Indy reader, Valerie, points us to this piece about video gamers solving a molecular puzzle that has baffled scientists for years. What is it? The molecular make-up of Doritos? (Oh, I know, I know. Lame. You miss Joanna. Shutthefuckup). (MSNBC)

John Singleton is so assured of the success of Abduction that he’s already claiming that a sequel is in the bag. Hahahahahaha. Apparently, Singleton hasn’t seen his own film. (FilmSchoolRejects)

What Is the Internet’s obsession with coplay picture galleries?! Oh, I see. (Unreality)

Newsflash: Bill O’Reilly thinks he’s the second most powerful man in the nation, behind President Obama. (Nerve)

I’m gonna throw a bone to our GOP brethren here so you can see that Obama’s claims that the rich are paying taxes at a higher than the middle class is wrong. But one day, we should have a serious discussion about this on Pajiba. I mean, how much wealth is one person really entitled to? I say: Luxury tax! Just like in baseball. Everything over $100 million is taxed twice. (The Weekly Standard)

Esteemed critic, Mr. John Gholson, directs us to the Cheers Intelligence Infographic. Really? I thought Norm was smarter than Cliff. (Tumblr)

This poor guy: His mother crushes his dreams and tells him he’ll never be as good as those “little Asians.” None of us are, lady. None of us are. (Via ErikDavis)

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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