Good afternoon, man beans and lady bits. I’ll be covering Pajiba Love again today for the lovely and marvelous JoRo (and tomorrow, too). But don’t worry: She’s not going anywhere. In fact, back in December, in exchange for the meaning behind the word “Pajiba,” Joanna agreed to a lifetime of indentured servitude to the site. TK let her off the chain for a few days to allow the bruises to heal. She’ll be back on Thursday.

Let’s kick it off with the best thing I’ve read this week: Our pal Eric D. Snider offers a warning in this week’s hilarious must-read Snide Remarks: “Jews Your Words Carefully.” (Eric D. Snider)

Here’s another warning to you all to keep your super-intimate details off the Facebooks. Bad-mouthing a cheating ex is all fun and games until you get owned. (I Wish I Didn’t Know)

Hey dog lovers: Joanna would never be cruel enough to post a link to this list, but I’m not Joanna. I’m the asshole. Here are 9 Movie Dogs that Should Have Been Put to Sleep. (Screenjunkies)

The guys over at Uproxx are obsessed with two things: “Community” and GIFs. It’s not a bad obsession to have when the result is the Best of Troy Barnes. (Uproxx)

Diablo Cody is rightfully bummed that Bobcat Goldwaithe recently made a movie that lumped Cody in with reality TV and “Jersey Shore.” Low blow, dude. I love you, man, but before you attack a talented screenwriter for one movie (a great one, I might add), consider how you spent the first 20 years of your career. Also, Police Academy. #neverforget (Moviefone)

You know that Bonnie and Clyde movie they were making with Hilary Duff, but then decided to shitcan Hilary Duff? They found a replacement. I don’t watch “True Blood,” so you guys will have to make your own assessments. (The Playlist)

RETRO MUPPET CONCERT POSTERS. You’re welcome. (The Curious Brain)

Long-time Indy reader, Valerie, points us to this piece about video gamers solving a molecular puzzle that has baffled scientists for years. What is it? The molecular make-up of Doritos? (Oh, I know, I know. Lame. You miss Joanna. Shutthefuckup). (MSNBC)

John Singleton is so assured of the success of Abduction that he’s already claiming that a sequel is in the bag. Hahahahahaha. Apparently, Singleton hasn’t seen his own film. (FilmSchoolRejects)

What Is the Internet’s obsession with coplay picture galleries?! Oh, I see. (Unreality)

Newsflash: Bill O’Reilly thinks he’s the second most powerful man in the nation, behind President Obama. (Nerve)

I’m gonna throw a bone to our GOP brethren here so you can see that Obama’s claims that the rich are paying taxes at a higher than the middle class is wrong. But one day, we should have a serious discussion about this on Pajiba. I mean, how much wealth is one person really entitled to? I say: Luxury tax! Just like in baseball. Everything over $100 million is taxed twice. (The Weekly Standard)

Esteemed critic, Mr. John Gholson, directs us to the Cheers Intelligence Infographic. Really? I thought Norm was smarter than Cliff. (Tumblr)

This poor guy: His mother crushes his dreams and tells him he’ll never be as good as those “little Asians.” None of us are, lady. None of us are. (Via ErikDavis)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.