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Shut The F*ck Up, Kids! The Moving Picture Box Is On!

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | August 30, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | August 30, 2010 |

Yes yes yes. I know. I know The Emmys were on last night, and no, I didn’t watch them (before you take that as an elitist hipster stance, bear in mind I was watching Big Brother instead. So yeah.) Anyway, for those of you who missed it, here’s a rundown of all the dresses from last night. Oh Christina Hendricks… You were so close this time! Better luck next time, sweetie. (popbytes)

Also this weekend: Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin decided to honour the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have A Dream” speech. How? By getting a bunch of angry people and grouping them together in the same spot he spoke at. Somehow, I think we may have missed the point a little on this one. (Buzzfeed)

Here are 4 super romantic ways to dump someone. For the record, I’ve only had one relationship that made it to the dumping phase, and even then I just did it the old fashioned way: Email! Yeah I know, it’s a shitty way to dump someone, but in all fairness, he was a shitty boyfriend. (The Gloss)

Haha, Paris Hilton got arrested for being a cokehead! Which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but just to err on the side of safety here, we should probably put her in solitary confinement. Then fill her cell with quick-dry cement. Just to be safe. (Evil Beet)

Dan Carlson once again placed at #1 for the Friends quiz (really? I never took Dan for a Friends fan, to be honest), but how much do you guys know about the Emmy Awards. Check out the new Primetime Emmy’s Quiz. (LitelySalted)

What do you do when an up-their-own-ass church decides to picket the strip club you work at and harass the clientele? Picket them right the fuck back. Hey, do you have any idea how hard it is to pull off some of those crazy pole tricks? Strippers work hard, goddammit. (Zelda Lily)

Hey girl, why don’t you slide on next to me and watch the video for Dead Man Bones’ Pa Pa Power while I feed you chocolate-covered Strawberries? (Film Drunk)

Here are the 9 things you will find at Disney World. And you WILL find them. Thankfully, I went to Disney World in a time before scooters (back in 2002. I was eleven. *Evil Laugh*) but I still remember that all the men dressed like redneck hillbillies and all the teenage girls looked like backwoods prostitots. (Frothy Girlz)

Good: Someone made a spoof of those commercials for that stupid little handkerchief you can wear over your cleavage instead of a freaking undershirt. Better: it’s called “The Boner-Killing Tit-kerchief”. Fact: I show off the goods on a regular basis. Look where I am now! (Warming Glow)

Oh. My. GOD. Ever wondered what would happen if the DC universe was written and drawn by the guy behind Calvin and Hobbes? This. This would happen. (Topless Robot)

Nike has patented self-tying shoes like the ones in Back To The Future (another movie I haven’t seen!) which is great and all, but how about a fucking hoverboard already? Is it too much to ask for flying cars? (Gamma Squad)

And for her next trick, Jennifer Aniston will play a bisexual in a Judd Apatow movie who has a naked lesbian threeway. Hmmmmm, I’m on the fence about this. It could go either way… just like her character! BOOM with the bisexuality joke! (Yeeeah!)

I try not to blow my own horn here too often (insert joke here), but I’ve turned Pornstar in the Kitchen into a video series on Youtube, which means you guys can watch me bake a White Chocolate Blueberry Pie while half-naked. (PornstarInTheKitchen)

And finally: Corgis on a treadmill? Yes. Corgis on a treadmill. We actually tried to do this with Kahlua once, since she got a little bit chunky. She did not like it. AT. ALL.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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