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That's Not Much Of A Happy Ending Now Is It? *Rimshot!*

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | November 29, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | November 29, 2010 |

As if the TSA pat-downs weren’t bad enough, someone was actually arrested after cumming during a mandated frisking. Seriously. Every part of that sentence was so wrong it physically hurts me. And now to wait for the inevitable porn parody. (DeadSeriousNews)

Here are five movies too sexy for distribution. Ummmm… No offense, but I would not fuck a single one of these movies. Like, if these movies were people and you saw them at a bar, you would need at least a five drink minimum before body parts were exchanged. (Nerve)

Did any of you see that bit on Conan where they imagine Oprah giving away a swarm of bees on her Favorite Things episode? Well, it’s now in GIF form. I want to marry this GIF and have little GIF children. (Film Drunk)

I know a lot of you aren’t really into country music, but that’s just because you’ve never heard of Miranda Lambert. And just to prove how awesome she is, she threw a drink in the lead singer of Nickelback’s face when he called her a bitch. Marry me. (Celebitchy)

Oh look, people are fighting over who originally created Jersey Shore. Yet oddly enough, they’re fighting because they actually want to be responsible for it, which is like fighting over who killed the stripper, wrapped her body in a shower curtain and dumped it off the bridge. (popbytes)

Do you like football and terrible music? Well then have I got news for you! The Black Eyed Peas will be playing the Supertime Halftime Show this year, or as I like to call it, “That stupid football game that makes everyone forget it’s my birthday every year”. EVERY. YEAR. (Warming Glow)

So Fox News decided to publish an excerpt from an article about Obama writing an angry email. The only problem: It was from The Onion, and it was actually a joke. Oh Fox, you really do make it too easy. (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

Rumors are going around saying that Michael Bay is having trouble with the 3D on Transformers 3: Rise of the Mooninites, so he responded the way only Michael Bay can: Self-righteous douchebaggery, and four question marks. Because apparently one question mark simply wouldn’t have expressed his incredulousness. (Gamma Squad)

So apparently, Hulk Hogan got married pre-divorced to that girl who looks exactly like his daughter over the weekend. I’m sorry, but NO. To all of that. I don’t care what your type is; if you’re fucking someone who looks exactly like your child, you’re doing something wrong. (Celebslam)

Oh joy upon joys, the first image of Bella and Edward post-coitus in the next Twilight movie have leaked onto the blagonets, and the Twihards are acting exactly how you’d think they would act: Like sexless virgins. (Agent Bedhead)

Alright, so Kim Kardashian and a bunch of other famewhores have decided to stay off of Facebook and Twitter until their fans pony up $1 Million for the Keep A Child Alive Charity. Sure the idea is pretty stupid, but it’s for little kids with HIV/AIDS, and the ad campaign features Kim Kardashian in a coffin, so I say yes to all of this. (Dlisted)

Two plugs for underrated musicians in one day? Yes, because I can. So here’s Nicole Atkins with The Way it is.

Jeremy Feist is Pajiba’s resident Link Slave and occasional music-pusher. Email him links! Check out his NSFW blog! Follow him on Twitter! He needs your attention like he needs oxygen and water.

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