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Oh Look, Her Meal Ticket Is Free

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | August 25, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | August 25, 2010 |

Lindsay Lohan is a free bitch, baby! After spending two weeks in jail followed by 22 days in jail, she’s now free to go back to doing absolutely nothing. Hold on, I’ll go set the countdown clock for when Dina eventually compares this to Nelson Mandela being freed. (Celebslam)

Do you like gingerbread men, but are saddened by their lack of badassness? WELL FUCK THAT SHIT, BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN HAVE GINGERBREAD NINJAS! THE COOKIE THAT CAN FUCKING KILL YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY! (Frothy Girlz)

Jenna Jameson, the woman with the most famous vagina in the world, bitchslapped Heidi Montag on Twitter for lying about how her sextape got “leaked”. For the record: I’ve been saying this for pretty much the past week. Did anyone listen to me? Nooooooooo. So now I’m doing the I-Told-You-So dance. Suck it! (popbytes)

Look everyone! A new mini-comic by Allie Brosh! And it’s about how wishing on stars can ruin your entire life and put you in a coma or something! WOOOOOO! (Hyperbole and a Half)

Tom Hardy, the guy who even managed to out-hot Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Inception, now has peen pics on line. There is a God! Link is SFW, while the next link over is decidedly less so. But you know you want it. (Celebitchy)

2010 may not be over yet, but just for shits and giggles, here are the things that suck about this year (so far). For the record: The reason Ramona was a delivery girl for Amazon was because she could travel instantaneously through Subspace. GAME, SET AND MATCH. (Hobo Trashcan)

Ever wonder what History’s greatest images would look like if they got photobombed? Something like this. Oh Yoko, you crafty little ball of bitchy crazy, you … (Cracked)

Because every aspect of Geek Culture will inevitably be mashed-up together, behold! Scott Pilgrim vs. The World vs. The Matrix! WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT! (The Flickcast)

I think we can all safely add Sean Penn to the list of people who should never, ever try to be a woman. Someone please kill it with fire. (Agent Bedhead)

Doritos released two new flavours of chips based on the new Madden ‘11 game. Look, hopeless sports game nerds! New food to slowly kill yourselves with! Yippy Hooray! (The Impulsive Buy)

Yup, it’s official: Link is totally gay. Or does this just count as PG-rated masturbation? Decisions, decisions… (Unreality)

Do you know what the only thing worse than getting donkey punched is? Getting donkey punched on live TV. By a soccer ball.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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