Hiya, Eloquents! Just a heads up, but I’m flying down to San Francisco for the weekend to take part in The Folsom Fair, which means the lovely and talented Agent Bedhead will be covering for me. Any San Fransisco Pajibans out there that I should know of?
At this point, I think we all of us (even the straight men) would bang the living hell out of Jon Hamm. Well good news! It turns out he also did porn. I mean granted, he worked as a set dresser (which is a very important part of the shoot, let no one tell you otherwise), but shut up, it still counts! (popbytes)
Bad news you guys: Eddie Fisher died Wednesday night due to complications from hip surgery. Pour a little out on the curb for one of the world’s first true rock stars and the father of Princess Leia. (Dlisted)
You thought your first day on the job sucked? Well, compare yours to Allie Brosh’s which involved a wacky misunderstanding and a screaming gypsy woman and be glad that your job didn’t suck as badly as hers. (The Gloss)
Chris Noth is throwing a whiny little bitchfit by blaming the press for killing the Sex and the City franchise. Actually, I thought what killed it was terrible writing and an overload of consumerism, but if we had any part of putting a stake through its heart, we’ve done our job. (Celebitchy)
There’s a Madonna quiz over at Litely Salted right now, and I managed to score a whopping 44% on it. Yeah, it’s official: I’m like the worst gay ever. Please don’t revoke my homo card. (Litely Salted) And for you super hard-core Super Mario fans, here’s a Super Mario Bros. quiz. (LitelySalted)
Here’s the A.V. Club talking about aspects of pop culture that, despite their best efforts to avoid them, they’ve been sucked into. Alright, mini-div: Any part of pop culture you’ve been dragged into kicking and screaming? Bonus points if I caused it! (A.V. Club)
For those of you wondering, Lady Gaga’s meat dress is being turned into jerky. I’m sure if you sift around in there long enough, you’ll find a pretty apt metaphor for Lady Gaga’s career, but really I just want her to go eat a dick. (Agent Bedhead)
It’s official people: We have discovered the Indian version of Michael Bay. Don’t believe me? Well check out this trailer with ROBOT TIGERS on LIGHTNING LEASHES with a GIANT SNAKE MADE OF ROBOTS OH MY GOD EXPLOOOOOOOOOOSIONS! (Film Drunk)
Courtesy of Sofia, here’s a bunch of funny stuff that people have written on bathroom stall walls. I was going to type “funny shit” up there instead, but then I realized that putting “shit” and “bathroom” in the same sentence might be a bit misleading. (Chillout Point)
So as it turns out, the original opening for Iron Man 2 involved having Tony Stark face down puking in a toilet. Oh, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? You go to a Halloween party and next thing you know you wake up in a bathroom puking peach schnapps, dressed as a cowboy while the host’s dog bites your hand. Good times. (Gamma Squad)
Bret Michaels is set to undergo surgery to repair a hole in his heart, which comes after having a near fatal brain hemorrhage. Yipes, it might be time for the man to start taking it easy. I think his body might be held together by scotch tape and paper clips at this point. (Warming Glow)
Oh goodie, Snooki is putting together an album because of fucking course she is. I swear to God, if she does a cover of “We Represent The Lollipop Guild,” I will crap bricks. (Celebslam)
I know you guys hated those American Apparel ads more than you’ve ever hated anything in your entire life, so just to mess with your heads, here’s some sex advice from AA employees. Why do I feel like sex with them boils down to “look really bored the whole time and say how over this you are”? (The Nerve)
Anyway, before I leave you guys until Tuesday, here’s one last puppy-induced moment of zen for you guys. Happy weekend!