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Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 20, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 20, 2010 |

Guess what day it is everyone? It’s Lindsay Lohan Is Going to Jail Day! Say what you will, but you have to admit, being locked up in a building full of murderers and rapists is still a vast improvement over being in the same house as either of Lindsay’s parents. (Evil Beet)

Speaking of alcoholics, here’s the perfect gift for the booze-dependent person in your life: a wine glass that can hold a full bottle’s worth of the sweet stuff. What, we can’t just drink it straight out of the bottle anymore? (Gizmodo)

Russell Brand dressed up like Batman for the upcoming remake of Arthur, and God as my witness, they’ve somehow managed to outgay Batman & Robin. (Agent Bedhead)

Not only is M. Night Shamalamadingdong a hack director, but he will also basically tell you to kill yourself if you ask him a question he doesn’t like. Wow, a hack AND an asshole? The girls must simply be lining up at his door! (Screen Junkies)

You know those Nigerian scam emails people keep getting? Well, now they’ve started addressing them to Megan Fox and the results are oddly hilarious. On the plus side, we’ve finally found someone who likes Jonah Hex! (Film Drunk)

Japan has finally taught a monkey how to play baseball, which means it’s only a matter of time before we hear the line “There’s nothing in the rules that says a chimpanzee can’t play baseball!” in our theaters. (Warming Glow)

Pop Quiz everyone! Is this a Tila Tequila concert or a retarded midget stripper having an epileptic fit? The world may never know. (Celebslam)

Speaking of poorly tattooed Myspace hooker trolls, the new season of “Celebrity Rehab” is under way, and … Yeah, the definition of “celebrity” is pretty loose here. (popbytes)

Three new actors have been cast in Spartacus, or as I like to call it, “That Crappy Show That Gives Me The Tingles Down There”. (The Flickcast)

Sweet zombie Jesus, it’s another “Futurama” link! Yeah, I’m morally obligated to post these, so here’s what Bender would look like as a Transformer. (Unreality)

Because we can all use a little improvement when it comes to dropping F-Bombs, here’s the periodic table of swearing to give you a few tips. Thanks, mswas!(I’m Just Creative)

Okay, so at first I was all gung-ho about a dessert pizza covered in fruit, and then I saw whatever the hell this is and cried in the shower for fifteen minutes straight. (The Impulsive Buy)

I know this is kinda old, but here’s what Evil Dead II would look like if it were 30 seconds long and acted out entirely by cartoon bunnies.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his sorta-NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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