Here are 11 things you must do if you’re ever trapped in a horror movie. Just putting this out there, but have you ever considered going somewhere brightly lit with lots of people? Or better yet, getting on a plane and leaving the goddamn country? (Den of Geek)
While we all wait for Disney to stop being a bunch of cockteases and release Tron Legacy already, here’s an interview with Cindy Morgan, who played Yori in the original movie. (Socialite Life)
For those of you who caught this week’s episode of Glee with Gwyneth Paltrow (why do you hurt me Glee? Why?), you might remember when her character made a couple cracks about Lindsay Lohan. Well, Dina Lohan did too and now she’s meeting with her lawyers to sue Glee for defamation, which makes me soooo thankful she hasn’t ever read Pajiba. (Evil Beet)
And in other Glee news, while we can all agree that Mr. Shue totally sucks as a teacher, what with his constantly pushing his own arrested development on his kids, you have to admit, the guy is very, very pretty when he’s not wearing a shirt. (popbytes)
On this week’s Frotcast, Vince compares 127 Hours to a 7-hour Dave Chapelle stand-up routine and waxes nostalgic on Four Loco. (FilmDrunk)
Alright, so here’s how today’s quiz works: We give you the name of a character from a book, and you have to figure out the name of the novel he or she is from. Get cracking, book worms. (Litely Salted)
A man was sentenced to four months in jail for posting nude pictures of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook when she called off their relationship. Honestly, I can get behind the ruling, but what confuses me is the fact they didn’t put him away for threatening to kill his girlfriend. I think that would be a little worse than having a couple people see my junk. (Zelda Lily)
Another day, another rumor about the villain of The Dark Knight Rises. Anyway, this time it’s rumored that Tom Hardy will play Dr. Strange, which I’m sure will make sense once I figure out who the hell Dr. Strange is. (/ Film)
Good news, music fans who are not me! The entire Beatles catalog is now on iTunes! For the record: I really did try getting into The Beatles, I really did. I just thought they were kinda … Meh. (The Flickcast) (Are you trying to provoke an angry stampede? — DR)
Sarah Palin has a new book coming out, and in the interest of keeping flamewars to a minimum, I will only say that Sarah Palin says that people on reality TV have no talent, then praises her daughter Bristol’s chastity. Must… resist… irony… (Gawker)
Gamblers and degenerates: Your Week 11 NFL picks. (UglyFours)
Ever wondered how to report the news in the most generic, pretentious fashion possible? Well here’s a British guy giving you a step-by-step explanation as to how to do it. As opposed to us North Americans, who just point a camera at a crazy person and wait for the money to pour in. (Unreality)
Speaking of the differences between us and the UK, check out this ad Beyonce did for her new fragrance, Heat, that was banned in Britian but would probably run on Nick Jr. over here. (Yeeeah!)
Want to know whether or not your college professor has tenure? Try yawning in class, and if he freaks out and starts screaming at everyone, then yes, he has tenure.
Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here. Please include your Pajiba handle in the subject line, because he sucks with names.