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Sharks Are Terrifying and They Will Eat Your Ass

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 16, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 16, 2010 |

The A.V. Club took a look at some of their pop-culture-induced anxieties, which makes for a great little mini-div: Any movies instill a phobia in you? No joke, but I saw Deep Blue Sea when I was eight years old, and thanks to that Samuel L. Jackson part, I can’t even swim in a pool alone for fear of a shark popping out of nowhere and eating a tasty slice of Feist. (A.V. Club)

And while we’re on the subject of things that terrify me: SHARKTOPUS! Okay, actually this movie looks less terrifying and more shitballs fucking stupid, but whatever. Shark + Octopus = KILL IT WITH FIRE. (Gamma Squad)

Here’s a nifty little gadget that allows you to turn any page on the internet into a Geocities-looking mess of dancing baby gifs and midi music. Be warned: what you see cannot be unseen. Thanks once again to figgy! (Geocities-izer)

Pink ended up being slingshotted off the stage yesterday during her concert. To be honest, this would probably be a lot of fun if it weren’t for the whole “crashing into a barricade” thing. (popbytes)

Robert Pattinson grabbing Taylor Lautner’s pecs until his nipples get hard? Nope, nothing gay about that. Lalalalala … Oh who am I kidding, how is Twilight not a Falcon Studios movie? (Agent Bedhead)

Someone finally got around to sticking a laugh track onto an episode of Intervention. I’ve never actually seen an episode of Intervention, but even with the laugh track, it still makes me want to curl up in the fetus position. (Warming Glow)

The good people at CHUD have discovered the opening to Transformers 3. If you thought it wasn’t possible for Michael Bay to out-stupid the two racist robots from the second pile of shit, prepare to be disappointed. (CHUD)

Here are ten “Funny” USB flashdrives. Yeah, even my Granny would look at these and think “Man, this is dorky as shit. I’m just gonna go buy another shirt with kittens on it.” (Unreality)

Diablo Cody now has her own internet talk show where she interviews celebrities. Suck it Juno haters, the woman is goddamn charming as hell and I love her. (BWE)

Here’s Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw’s review of Super Mario Galaxy 2. Hate to say it, but as much as I love this game, it’s a wholesale rip-off of the first. (The Escapist)

The girl on the cover of Vampire Weekend’s album, Contra, is suing the band for $2 million. Christ, I know they’re overrated, but $2 million for one picture? Jeebus. (Pitchfork)

Finally, here’s a video from Green Peace encouraging Nestle to stop using Palm Oil that comes from deforestation. Sounds innocent, right? And it is, until you get to the part where the guy eats a monkey finger and wipes the blood all over his face.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his sorta-NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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