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Armond White: Dipsh*t Reviews For Dumbass People

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 15, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 15, 2010 |

For those of you who’ve never heard of Armond White, I give you: the anti-Pajiba. A dipshit hack of a writer who wouldn’t know a good movie if it kicked him in the balls with steel-toed army boots. If you can actually make it through this review of Inception without tossing your computer off a balcony, you’re a better person than I. (NY Press)

And to wash the taste of abject failure out of your mouth, here’s a review of M.I.A.’s /\/\/\//\ that will mindfuck you five ways to Sunday. (Fourfour)

Unlike everyone else in the world with a functioning brain, Rihanna is thinking about giving Chris Brown a second chance after he fake-cried at the BET Awards. As someone who gave their ex and his stupid saggy bitchtits a second chance, all I can say is “Don’t do it, dumbass!” (Evil Beet)

With Levi Johnston getting shotgun married to Bristol “Being a Teen Mom is Awful Unless You’re Me!” Palin, Kathy Griffin is getting over it the best way she knows how: Ripping up Playgirl magazines and making a pass at Taylor Lautner. (popbytes)

Despite being a raging asshole, having eight kids and using botox the way most people use moisturizer, Kate Gosselin thinks she’s Grade-A dating material. (Yeeeah!)

Mr. Old Spice has taken to Youtube to woo Rose McGowan. The result is. .. Ummmm, yeah. We get it Mr. Old Spice; you’re hot. But your product still smells like grandpas. (Agent Bedhead)

Here’s Perrier’s new ad, which features Dita von Teese taking off her clothes and pouring sparkling water all over herself. No matter what you think about Dita, I think we can all agree: Perrier’s marketing department has officially stopped trying. (Warming Glow)

Today’s proof that there is, in fact, a loving God, Betty White is going to be guesting on an episode of Community. God, I am SO ready for that jelly. (Screen Junkies)

I don’t know what’s more terrifying: the fact that there’s a petition out there to get Glenn Beck to run for President, or the woman in the video who clearly set her Homer Simpson Makeup Gun to “Super Whore”. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Oh. My. GOD. Someone actually went around Toronto comparing the locations in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World with their real-life counterparts. All I can say is that I so cannot wait to move to Toronto in two weeks. Toronto Pajibans Represent! (Comics Alliance)

Someone finally got around to doing a mashup of Mel Gibson’s hate-filled tapes with a scene from What Women Want, and the results would be funny if they weren’t so soul crushing.

Mel Gibson Tells Helent Hunt Off in What Women Want from Mel Gibson

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his sorta-NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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