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R.I.P. (Straight) Porn

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | October 14, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | October 14, 2010 |

Bad news, straight people: after a performer tested positive for HIV, Vivid Video and Wicked Entertainment will be shutting down indefinitely until the problem is solved. Seriously people: CONDOMS in PORN. USE THEM. It really isn’t that hard. (Yahoo)

I’m not gonna lie, Derek Da Silva sent this to me on Twitter yesterday and it totally made my day: Brian Henson, Jim Henson’s son, is working on Happytime Murders, a dark-comedy murder mystert about a world where muppets and humans live together and holy shit, I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything ever. (Popwatch)

Oh look, someone took the time to create a mash-up video of famous last words from movies. While they’re all perfectly good, I already know what my final words are going to be: “I buried the treasure beneath the… *Dies*” (Screen Junkies)

Lindsay Lohan was caught sneaking out of jail the other day, and before any of you jump to conclusions, she was only sneaking out so that she could go buy some Coke. Oh, wait, that doesn’t sound any better… (popbytes)

Let’s get one thing straight here: I will never have kids because kids are evil and loud and fucking awful. That being said, I raised three of them already, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, if you EVER get in between a child and cake, THIS will happen. (HyperboleAndAHalf)

Oh FUCK YES! The good people at Cartoon Network are going to be turning How To Train Your Dragon into a full-fledged series. Suck it haters, but I actually thought How To Train Your Dragon was a slightly better movie than Toy Story 3. (The Flickcast)

Just in case any of you ever doubted Mad Men’s accuracy as to 1960’s feminism, it turns out that most women who grew up in the era refuse to watch the show because it’s too realistic. Yet somehow the kid from Two-And-A-Half Men makes three times as much as Jon Hamm. (Zelda Lily)

Anybody remember Bush? Not the president that single-handedly ran the country into the ground, I meant the band. Yeah, them. Anyway, lead singer Gavin Rossdale admitted to Details magazine that he had a fling with a cross-dresser, and before anyone asks, sleeping with a cross-dresser only ranks a four on the gay scale (a gayle?). (Yeeeah!)

Because nerds can and will make just about anything if given the time and resources, here’s a life-size steampunk Iron Man suit. While I can appreciate the effort that went into it, get over it nerds; not everything needs to run on a goddamn steam engine. (Unreality)

Avril Lavigne is on the cover of Maxim Magazine, which means her career is over and she was willing to pose topless in a third-rate magazine for spare change. Suck a hot cock, sk8r girl. (Evil Beet)

I think we can all agree that Jackass is a pretty male-oriented show, but worry not ladies! Take a look at this female-version of Jackass and thank whatever all-knowing being you believe in that you’re not them! (Frothy Girlz)

Well, you can all kiss your productivity goodbye: Here’s a flowchart of every female character that has ever or will ever existed. Yeah, this one’s gonna take you an hour. Hope you like confusing lines and tiny writing! (Overthinking It)

Hey ladies, have I got a treat for you. It’s Zach Galifianakis. In a one-piece. Giving you bedroom eyes. Awwwwwww yeah. Pace yourselves ladies, pace yourselves. He’ll be here alllllllll night. (Coed Magazine)

I know the song is a little old, but whatever, it’s a good song and the video is based on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (BEST. MOVIE. EVER.), so here’s Stars’ Your Ex-Lover Is Dead.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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