Hey everyone! Sorry for flaking yesterday, but hey, you try being stuck on a bus for seven hours after two days of not eating delicious turkey because you had a stomach flu. Everyone thank Dustin for being so kind as to cover for my ass, and also for saddling me with reviewing Big Momma Does Bad All By Herself, Goes to Jail, and Meets the Browns IV.
The third Batman movie doesn’t start shooting until April, but rumours are already going around saying that Killer Croc will be the next Big Bad. Ummmmmm… A little out of left field I guess, but if it means completely destroying Dane Cook’s hopes of playing The Riddler then I’m OK with it. (Gamma Squad)
Dina Lohan, who I swear to God just lists “World’s Worst Mother” as her occupation on her taxes, was warned SEVEN YEARS AGO that Lindsay might be a textbook burnout by L.A. Police, and she’s now blaming them for not doing more about it. Christ, Denial isn’t just a river for this woman, it’s a fucking ocean. (popbytes)
Today’s quiz is all about award winning documentaries, and for those of you like me who generally steer clear of them, don’t worry, this is still ridiculously easy. (Litely Salted)
Good news, everyone! Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has been suspended for being unconstitutional, which means that all further discharged must be stopped. Which means the gays will now take over America. Sorry! (Towleroad)
Just in case the make-up, outfits and general personality didn’t convince you that Marilyn Manson is fucking weird, it turns out he’s actually a huge Eastbound and Down fan and he enjoys sending Danny McBride random, creepy emails in the middle of the night. Hello, terrifying new nightmares. (Agent Bedhead)
Since we all know that Jesse Eisenberg is basically guaranteed an Oscar nomination for The Social Network, let’s take a look at the youngest Oscar nominees of all time. Seriously, a nine-year-old got nominated for an Oscar? Fuck. When I was nine, I couldn’t even make toast. (Film Experience)
Here are seven supporting actors who are “sexier” than the leading men. I’m sorry, but I patently refuse to believe that any of the other men in Sterling Cooper, even with their hotness combined, could surpass Don Draper. Although Sal was a close second. (The Nerve)
Good news for those of you with a nerdboner for flashy CGI and French techno: Disney finally released a snippet of one of the songs from Daft Punk’s score for Tron and it’s pretty epic. I, for one, look forward to watching Daft Punk and Hans Zimmer duke it out *BRAAAAAAAHM*-style at the Oscars. (Film Drunk)
Admittedly, I don’t have that much experience in dealing with the police (don’t act like this doesn’t surprise you), but I think we can all agree that if the cops come to your door and you’re wearing a bikini, you might want to put something on. Unless you’re Katherine Heigl and you really need to sell your new movie. (Celebitchy)
Somebody managed to convince Wes Anderson to direct a Stella Artois commercial, and it pretty much looks like every movie he’s ever done. Seriously, replace the guy in the ad with a stop-motion animal and you’d have the trailer for Fantastic Mr. Fox. (Warming Glow)
Because the people who handle Britney Spears’ career are equal parts stupid and awful, they’re planning on having Britney Spears host her own variety show! Yay! Let’s drive this poor woman into the ground for the sake of money! Weeeee! (Celebslam)
Yesterday, we steered you over to Ugly Fours for a post about what a douchehat Fantasy Football guru ESPN’s Matthew Berry is. Matthew Berry, it seems, responded to the post. I think he was flattered to be talked about. (NSFW-ish, for penis-like imagery). (Ugly Fours)
Here are the seven dumbest careers Barbie’s ever had. For the record, I fully consider cat burglar to be a valid career option, and anyone who says otherwise clearly hates freedom. (Topless Robot)
Alright, so what happens when you mash-up the theme from Mad Men with Nat Cole’s Nature Boy? Oh, and just to throw some more random into the mix, it’s performed by Brian Williams’ daughter. Really. Behold the ensuing awesome.