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No, Seriously: What The F*ck Is A Nikki Minaj?

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | September 13, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | September 13, 2010 |

The MTV VMAs happened last night, and dumb little me decided to liveblog the whole thing despite being drunk and hating absolutely everyone and everything there. Well, except for Chelsea Handler. Although any awards show that would give more screen time to whatever Nikki Minaj is over Robyn deserves a punch in the balls. (popbytes)

And now for the most important discussion of our time: Are Christina Hendricks’ boobs super, magical, or super magical? Just a warning, but this post features puh-lenty of pics of Christina Hendricks’ lovely, lovely cleavage, so straight men, bisexuals and lesbians: Prepare yourselves. (Uproxx)

Speaking of those MTV VMA’s, here’s an MTV quiz for those of you who remember when the station actually played music. (LitelySalted)

Thanks to Penelope on this one, here are the 50 best movie trailers ever. All I can say is FUCK AND YES to the Red Eye love. Remember Red Eye? God I loved that movie. One of the most underrated movies of the aughts/thousands/what the fuck ever. (Extra)

Alright, so Nick over at Celeslam called Tila Tequila a “Cheap Saigon Whore” and then she got all pissy and called him a racist and demanded an apology or she would have him fired and he was all like “HAHA no, whore.” I don’t know what the fuck her problem is; considering she started her career using a kiddie-pool of banana pudding, a donkey and a bucket of ping-pong balls, this is probably one of the less awful things people have said about her. (Celebslam)

I honestly couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, but Finland has created an entirely serious movie about a killer Santa Claus who was buried in the North Pole but rose from his frozen grave to… Ummm, I don’t know. Whatever killer Santas do. Kill naughty kids? Yeah, that sounds about right. (Film Drunk)

Speaking of batshit-crazy famewhores, Spencer Pratt was arrested in Costa Rica for felony firearms possession. But then Costa Rica realized they would have to hold Spencer Pratt in their country, so they just banned him from their country. In related news, Spencer Pratt is now banned from Canada for felony douche because I say so. (Celebitchy)

Hey, did any of you guys catch that clip from the new season of The Amazing Race where some poor woman takes a slingshot-powered melon to the face? Well, she may have gotten a concussion because no shit Sherlocke, that’s what happens when someone pegs you in the face with a 10-pound object. (Warming Glow)

Because she is so HARDCORE and PUNK ROCK, Taylor Momsen decided to set her dog’s neutered balls on fire. Somehow, I don’t think Bob Barker approves of this because she’s hardcore and doesn’t take shit from no one. FIGHT THE POWER, ROCK ‘N ROLL RACCOON! (Agent Bedhead)

I’m not really sure how many people here care about video games, but I’m going to post this trailer for Marvel vs. Capcom 3 for sheer cinematic value. Come for Captain America casually fighting a helicopter and winning, stay for Viewtiful Joe riding Amaterasu like a My Little Sun God Pony. (Gamma Squad)

So Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin decided to host a 9/11 Event in Wasilla, despite the fact that Sarah doesn’t consider New York to be a part of “Real America”. You remember New York, right? You know, the place where they flew the planes into the World Trade Center? That’s not real America. (Towleroad)

Ooooo, yay! The first clip for Justin Bieber’s role on CSI has leaked onto the blagonets, and he is truly the greatest actor of our generation? Give him all the Emmys, it’s not even a competition anymore! (Buzzfeed)

Here are the 6 completely bananarama-insane foreign memes that put lolcats to shame. All of a sudden, I have a newfound appreciation for all things Mudkipz. (Cracked) decided to paint himself entirely in black and then everyone called him racist for it. Seriously? You consider a black men painting himself up to look like fucking Max Headroom racist? (Dlisted)

Did you know that thanks to American Apparel, and over-inflated sense of self-worth and retro bullshit, being a dickhead is now in style? The song says so! Thanks to Bierce Ambrose!

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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