I’m gonna level with you, ‘jibans — there ain’t shit going on in the news today, and if you’re reading this you’re probably, like me, stuck at work and feeling rather pissy about your situation. Let’s commiserate with the best links I can scrap together.
Fun facts about A Christmas Story, besides the one about Scott Schwartz being a porn star which everybody knows about, including my mother in-law. (mental floss)
Another former child star dirties their mitts in scandal. (WIMB)
Casey Affleck is getting too big for his spoiled, assy little britches. (Agent Bedhead)
Didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas this year? Well, at least you didn’t get a nineteen year old delinquent, legally bound to your place of residence. (QuizLaw)
Some assclown professor has deducted that men are funnier than woman, presumably because of testosterone and sperm and all of that. Well, if that were the case than wouldn’t most professional athletes and prostitutes be like, comic geniuses? Uh, case closed. (Feministing)
And on the twenty-fourth day of December, Jesus looked among his apostles and speaketh, “Dear Brothers, are thee ready for some football?” (KSK)
If you haven’t gotten your fill of Elijah Wood doing “The Puppetmaster” in your nightmares, see it again in the top 10 viral videos of 2007. (Popoholic)
It’s a fact. The real reason pandas are endangered? Is because they’re not very good at having sex. The scientific evidence, after the jump.