The Captain of the Pajiba Love Boat isn’t here today, having reportedly drowned in the Philly snow over the weekend. She’ll return when certain advancements in cryogenics are made. Or tomorrow. Whichever comes first. Meanwhile, you’re stuck with me.
Our own Mr. Carlson takes a look at the best and worst Christmas specials of all time, careful to note that those Rankin-Bass specials will give you psychic scars that will last a lifetime. (Hair Balls)
Tron: Legacy opens in 361 days. While you’re waiting, check out the Tron Light Cycle. Geek. (FilmDrunk)
Friend of the site, The Second Pass’ John Williams, discusses the books he most enjoyed in 2009. (The Millions)
Are you like me? Have you been wondering where Rene Russo disappeared off to about five years ago? Looks like she’s resurfacing. On Thor. (NewsinFilm)
Here are the ten best music documentaries of the Aughts from the always brilliant (The Playlist)
My favorite part about the new teaser poster for Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise’s next movie, Night and Day is that Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise aren’t in it. (Agent Bedhead)
EW’s worst book of the year goes to Spencer and Heidi. Meanwhile, EW’s worst magazine of the year goes to EW. (Litelysalted)
Johnny Knoxville says that, for the next Jackass movie (in 3D), he’s going to take all that Avatar technology and shove it up Steve-O’s ass. (Hitflix)
I’m hoping to catch the new web series “Coma, Period,” but maybe if someone else tells me if it’s worth watching, I’d be more inclined to do so. (Coma, Period)
Hey! Look here! The Associated Press named Taylor Swift Entertainer of the Year. In other news, the Associated Press is a joke. (AP)
In news you couldn’t possibly give a shit about, I was knocked out of my fantasy football playoffs this weekend, which is a tiny humiliation compared to this Oakland Raider, who lost his fucking pants during a game. (YouTube)
A half-day in a make-up chair and some Photoshop work, and you, too, could like like a cast member of “Jersey Shore.” If they could do it to Alyssa Milano, they could do it to anyone.