Happy Butthole Day, everyone! Oh, what a jolly, magical day this is… especially for someone whose livelihood is entirely dependent on it. Anyway, let’s all knock back our traditional Butthole Day whiskey shots and eat our traditional Butthole Day donut holes and bask in the magical warmth of Butthole Day… Butthole.
To start off Butthole Day, here’s some sex advice from indie rock couple Matt & Kim. Hey, when you take off your clothes in Times Square for a music video, I think that earns you a bit of between-the-sheets credibility. (Nerve)
Who’s ready for some terrifying math? Alright, so one of the Duggar children is expecting his second child, and is planning on having 25. Now take the 2 Duggar parents, add the 19 Duggar children, and assuming they’re all aiming for 25 children, that’s 475 Duggar grandchildren, plus the remaining Duggar relatives equals over 500 Duggars in the world. EVERYBODY PANIC. (Celebitchy)
Remember how GLAAD got the not-really-homophobic-but-still-pretty-lame gay joke off of the trailer for The Dilemma? Well now they went after Glee (seriously), so Susan Sarandon pretty much told GLAAD to fuck off, and then called them the PETA of the gay world. HA! It’s funny because it’s hurtful because it’s true. (Film Drunk)
Because this is pretty much the closest he can get to banging his daughter without it being illegal, Hulk Hogan is marrying someone who looks exactly like his Brooke. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to drink until I forget what can’t be unseen. (popbytes)
Jon Stewart sat down for an interview with Rachel Maddow because holy shit there is a loving God. Oh, and as a bonus point, Jon Stewart makes a reference to Phineas and Ferb within the first thirty seconds. Marry me. (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)
Because apparently, trivial bipartisanship will always beat out actual scientific research, someone actually recorded the TV-viewing habits of Republicans and Democrats and listed the results here. Remember Americans: You have to do exactly what your party tells you too, or else you’re not an American! (Warming Glow)
Here are 25 things you didn’t know about Tracy Morgan. Oh my God, from now on when anyone asks how I’m doing, I’m totally going to use his Lucky Charm bit. HA HA! Stolen material. (Vulture)
So Katy Perry might actually be kind of a total diva bitch from hell. No way, you’re telling me the multi-millionaire, world-famous pop star might be… demanding? One moment, good sir, I seem to have dropped my monocle into my champaign flute. (Agent Bedhead)
Rachel Ray published a recipe for “Late Night Bacon”, which pretty much boils down to “stick bacon in the microwave and then eat it”. Cue the smartass comments on the site in 3, 2, 1… (Food Network)
Despite Tron Legacy not even being out yet, New Sensations has already shot the porn parody, called (wait for it…) Pron. Well, at least they gave it an actual title instead of just going “DERPA DERPEDY DURRRR THIS AIN’T TRON XXX!” (Gamma Squad)
Here are the ten most disgusting cocktail names ever. I don’t care how delicious the ingredients in a brain hemorrhage sound together, anything that purposely looks and sounds like a bleeding organ is friggin’ gross as hell. (The Daily Meal)
Because I all know how much you love cakes, as well as words that sound like other, dirtier words, Tamatha has kicked of Bundt Cake Season! So let’s all partake in the cakey, hollowed goodness. (BundtCakeSeason)
To cap off Butthole Day here on Pajiba Love, here’s some man-pretty for you in the form of a bunch of shirtless Randy Blue models dancing. Shut up, it’s tradition because I say it is. This ranks right on the line between SFW and NSFW, so judge accordingly. Happy Butthole Day! Fa la la la la la la la Butthole!
Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here. Please include your Pajiba handle in the subject line, because he sucks with names.