You know Nick Swardson, who is kind of funny as Terry on “Reno 911” but is pretty much unpalatable in every other regard? Oh, well he’s getting his own show on Comedy Central. Because of course he is. (Warming Glow)
Ha ha ha. Owen Wilson has signed on to voice the titular role in that dreadful “Marmaduke” live-action movie. Uhhh, yeah. If this doesn’t reinstate the 24/7 suicide watch, I don’t know what will. (Cinematical)
Jessica Simpson had the nerve to insult the writing on “Melrose Place” in comparison to some of the scripts she’s worked with. Um, NO. I’ve seen Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous and that shit was just straight-up painful. (Litelysalted)
I’ve got some pretty exciting news today: Our sometimes contributor, Angelina Burnett (formerly known by her pseudonym “Beckylooo”) is working with the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Thelma and Louise to develop a pilot for Fox. Congrats, A! (If a TV Falls in the Woods)
And while I’m tooting the horns of our contributing writers, John Williams has a review of Cowboys Full: The Story of Poker over on the Barnes & Noble review site. (Second Pass)
Check out Kurt Russell’s audition tape from Star Wars so we can all laugh in his face at how he didn’t get the part. (Film Drunk)
If you thought that somehow Twitter wasn’t the most important thing to come out of the internet, let me just say this: The Papouli from “Full House” now has his own Twitter page. (IBBB)
Aww, I kind of love it that Dakota Fanning is just like a down-to-Earth teenager and goes to normal high school and is on the cheerleading team and stuff. (Celebslam)
I don’t watch “Dancing With the Stars” but the fact that Boozy McDrugface Osbourne is still in what is basically a competition of athleticism and skill blows my mind. (Hairballs)
The upcoming Precious, a disturbing social commentary, is already getting rave reviews, yet it seems like all Mariah Carey can goddamn talk about is how they ugg’ed her up for the part. (Celebitchy)
I love, love, love these retro-style posters for Disney-Pixar’s Up. So cool. (Gordon and the Whale)
Lady Gaga has once again one-upped herself when it comes to dressing like a total effing jackass. (Yeeeah!)
An Obama-Clinton ticket was apparently closer than we thought, until Bill started shooting his mouth off all over the place. Shame, the only time it seems like he’s screwing his wife is when he’s metaphorically screwing her. (Zelda Lily)
DirectTV has been getting some pretty bad press lately what with their latest trend in featuring tragically fallen celebrities in their commercials. This video asks the question: who’s left to exploit?
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.