Pajiba uber-crush Maggie Gyllenhaal is the new face of Agent Provocateur lingerie. Rowr! (Celebitchy)
What to tell your kids during that awkward “What’s an Emo?” conversation. (Hispanic! At the Disco)
Oh… God… No. Please, no. I’m getting sweaty and nauseous as we speak. (YesButNoButYes)
OK — So maybe Bear Gyrlls is embellishing his feats of survival — but since I’ve seen the guy drink his own urine and bite into live animals like they were goddamned sandwiches, I don’t know if I’d go so far as to call him a fake, either. (Galley Slaves)
What do Dolores Umbridge and Elle Woods have in common? (Film Experience)
Wow, you’d think the administration who predominantly fabricated the story of the capture and rescue of a female soldier would at least be able to tell the difference between that soldier and an airhead on MTV. You’d think. (TheEvilBeet)
Look, if someone is stealing a beer truck from a baseball stadium — I think it’s probably safe to assume they’re not a connoisseur. (QuizLaw)
Don’t miss the new installment of “Planning Sensibly For When the Zombies Come!” (YourMom’sBasement)
And in case you were wondering — no one got arrested for DUI/drug possession today; and no one had a public meltdown at a magazine photoshoot. That’s right, if the good folks here at Pajiba refuse to acknowledge it — then it didn’t happen. A-fucking-men.
As punishment for the response to yesterday’s clip — I’m going to leave you with a little ditty I like to call “Chocolate Rain.” Kids? You can thank your Pajiba-mates for this, after the jump.