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I Will Break Your Knees, Chickadee

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | October 7, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | October 7, 2010 |

Here are the 8 most incredibly annoying movie sidekicks. Before you ask, yes, that horrible mincing stereotype Ruby Rhod is on the list, and the only reason he isn’t number one is because Jar-Jar Binks is somehow considered a sidekick. Go fuck a landmine, Chris Tucker. (Topless Robot)

Bad news you guys: Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s older brother died, and it may have been drug related. Our condolences. (Evil Beet)

Hey look! Dustin is discussing The Social Network over on The Film Drunk’s podcast this week! You must all go and support our fearless leader now because the overlords demand it. (Film Drunk)

Today’s quiz is on Young Frankenstein, and apparently it is RIDICULOUSLY hard because the highest score, at the time I write this, is 8/25. Seriously. Consider this a warning. (Litely Salted)

Because no one can resist a slice of ginger pie, Christina Hendricks said that women and gay men hit on her all the time. Don’t act like you’re so surprised here; I don’t think anyone among us can say that, if given the chance, they wouldn’t motorboat those sweater puppies until their face fell off. (popbytes)

Someone decided to create a condensed version of the original Star Wars trilogy using paper animation and the results are absolutely adorable. Would it be a little too fitting if they did one for the prequel trilogy using toilet paper instead? (Screen Junkies)

So apparently Michael Bay has stopped blowing things up long enough to give Transformers 3 an actual subtitle. I won’t ruin the surprise, but fuck me sideways, if Syd Barrett were alive to see this he would probably shit himself. (The Flickcast)

Have you ever said to yourself “Man, Katherine Heigl is kinda awful, but I want to win her cold, dead heart. But how?” Well, this nifty little guide should help out. It basically just boils down to “Be awful to her for 90 minutes”. FEMINISM! WOOO! (The Nerve)

Ok$ana Grigorieva $aid that $he thought Mel Gib$on would kill her due to hi$ violent temper. Go$h, I wonder why $he never bothered taking her two children and leaving if $he wa$ $o worried about them? (Yeeeah!)

Just in case you guys weren’t completely convinced that Christine O’Donnell is completely and totally batshit insane, in 2006 she said that she had secret information about China and that they were planning on taking over the world. Knowing her, she’ll probably say they’re gonna make us masturbate to death or something. (Zelda Lily)

With a H/T to Scully, here’s a list of oddly specific Netflix recommendations. Seriously, what the fuck is it with James Marsden and getting cockblocked in all his movies? That man has the worst case of cinematic blueballs ever. (CollegeHumor)

Ever watched a movie and in the back of your head thought “You know, if they just made this one tiny decision, they could just not suffer through all the embarrassing and painful shit they’re about to go through?” Well, here’s a bunch of pictorials of those decisions. Goddammit, you’re telling me The Lord of the Rings could have just been 30 minutes instead of 9 hours? Fuck you, Peter Jackson. (Unreality)

Here are five scientific reasons that powerful people will always be awful. Here’s one: The basic idea behind any political system is that those who want power the most will be the ones who try to achieve it. The only problem? People who want power the most or sociopaths. (Cracked)

I’m sure most of you probably already read this comic, but just in case you don’t, here’s a map of the internet based on how much traffic they receive. (XKCD)

You know what the best kind of love is? Geek love. Which is why I’m posting this incredibly awesome and complex Rube Goldberg proposal. Someone please propose to me like this.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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