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Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of Oprah Screwing Over That Crippled Kid

By Stacey Nosek | Pajiba Love | June 24, 2010 |

By Stacey Nosek | Pajiba Love | June 24, 2010 |

I don’t want to point fingers or anything, but Oprah is almost definitely trying to cheat a crippled kid out of being the next big TV star. Never has a teen with cerebral palsy been so robbed since Skylar bought Walt Jr. the wrong kind of Raisin Bran. (Warming Glow)

Anyone remember who Jennifer Wilbanks is? The “Runaway Bride” — does that ring a bell? Yeah, well, surprise! She’s still a huge fucking loser. (Agent Bedhead)

Some asshole beat me to this in the comments section yesterday (and that’s why you never, ever post links in the comments section!) but the Human Centipede is now in cat toy form. Like it matters, my cat would just lose it under the fridge in five minutes anyway. (Film Drunk)

Mel Gibson has started showing an interest in the art of hypnotic power. So if all the Jews in this country start killing themselves, The Happening-style, I can tell you for damn sure it’s not “the plants” doing it. (Yeeeah!)

Ha ha! This is why you don’t wear 10-inch platform shoes, Lady Gaga. Because you will fall on your face, you dumbshit. (Celebslam)

Here are five films from 1984 which could stand for a remake. Bachelor Party? Oh hell yes. But only if it stars Tom Hanks again, because that would be AWESOME. (Cinematical)

A Tobias Funke/Watchmen mash-up in 2010? Why the hell not, I say! (Unreality)

Care for some Bisque’O County Jr. or Cream of Darkness, perhaps? Yep, someone has invented Bruce Campbell soup [labels]. (Screen Junkies)

HAAA! Amanda “She’s All That” Bynes, who as you’ll recall has retired from showbiz, may have actually been fired from her last acting gig. Perhaps a case of “You can’t fire me, I quit?” (The Playlist)

The “Jersey Shore” boys are appearing on “The Queer Issue” of Village Voice. Not so much because they’re gay, but because they’re prostitutes. (DListed)

Speaking of prostitutes, Jennifer Love Hewitt is starring in a — what else? — Lifetime movie in which she plays one. (Celebitchy)

This is awesome: The dude from OK Go in a staring contest vs. … Let’s just say a very worthy contender; I won’t spoil the surprise. And Zack Galifianakis is there too:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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