Screw that crap with Jesus rising from the dead and getting out of that cave: The real Easter miracle is that “Two and a Half Men” might really be ending, thanks to Cokehead McHookerlover’s outlandish salary demands. (Litelysalted)
They totally had me at “Hello Kitty Wine,” but totally lost me at “$20-$30 a bottle.” So when is Paul Frank going to come out with his own line of booze? (Agent Bedhead)
Here are the “Six Saddest Movies Ever Made.” I’ve never seen any of them, although Imitation of Life has been in my Netflix queue for like five years now. (PW)
My friend Matthew posted this on my Facebook wall earlier this week because he said that “it reminded him of me.” Particularly the “Long Journey of Mr. Poop” entry. He does know I’m a big softie for toilet humor. (HuffPo)
And if those creepy actual children’s books didn’t do it for you, check out this sublime fake children’s book: Alien vs. Pooh, compliments of superasente. It’s kind of the best thing I’ve ever seen. (The Chive)
Here’s a handy guide to choosing your porn star name. Apparently my old tried and true “Brandy Rossiter” just ain’t cutting it anymore. (Notes on Bar Napkins)
Since Dustin gave The Last Song a glowing review yesterday in the spirit of April Fool’s, you can still meet your vitriol quota with this exposition of the movie composed entirely of blurbs from terrible reviews. (Film Drunk)
In a new PSA for for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality, Anna Paquin has “come out” as a bisexual. Ummm, does anyone else find this a bit convenient, considering that she’s engaged to a man? (Screen Junkies)
Here are film’s seven biggest and baddest unleashed beasts. (Cinematical)
To all you fans of “Blossom” and ridic hats with crap glued to them, the cast is going to be reuniting (with the exception of “Whoa!”) on the sitcom “Til Death.” (Evil Beet)
Here’s a piece of the great “halves” of albums. When the whole thing just isn’t working for you. (Audiosuede)
Other than the pictures I regularly take of my cat and dog licking and snuzzling with each other, here are the seven most adorable things on the planet. (Holy Taco)
I had a roommate in college who would carry around a 5-liter box of Franzia with her to parties (and sometimes even bars — hey, we were cheap) in a messenger bag with a hole cut out for the spout. And now, you can basically buy it. Thanks, snath! (Uberreview)
We all knew it was coming eventually, and now here it is: PACMAN: The Movie. No, actually it’s a spoof from Therefore You Productions, but you just know somewhere some film exec just saw this and something’s being greenlit.
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.