Robert Downey Jr. ... Chained To A Bed ... Naked.
April Fool’s!!! No, seriously, it really isn’t a joke. That would be just fucking sick and twisted of me. Did I mention naked? (Webster’s)
Oh, please, please please don’t let this be an April Fool’s joke either: That Twilight doucheface says he’s going to retire from acting next year. (RopeOfSilicon)
You almost have to kind of admire Bill O’Reilly for going on Letterman when he knows damn well he’s going to be mocked mercilessly and made a total ass of. Ehh, no, maybe you don’t. (Celebitchy)
To once again indulge in Sarah’s Lily Allen crush, here is the continuance of Lily Allen Cutewatch ‘09. (Yeeeah!)
I have no desire to see Will Arnett put on his serious face. Boo. “The tears aren’t coming … The tears just aren’t coming!” (CHUD)
This gives me a great idea. When it’s Seth Freilich’s birthday, I’m totally sending him a cake with red and blue nutsacks on it. Extraordinary nutsacks!!! (CakeWrecks)
We can’t take too much heartache around these parts, but here is a heartwrenching yet life-affirming story that might make you tear up a little. (Jezebel)
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Or, today in “Things Which Bring Me Insurmountable and Indescribable Joy” news … (CuteOverload)
There’s a new product that’s been created called “Squeez Bacon.” The biggest surprise? It’s not even compliments of good old fashioned American ingenuity. (ThinkGeek)
Today in burger news, Jack in the Box becomes the latest burger chain to blatantly rip-off White Castle. Maybe White Castle should just start making regular-sized burgers? (TIB) And McDonalds unveils a new “whole wheat” Big Mac, so it’s totally healthy! (SeriousEats) Finally, here is a burger which will literally kill you. (ESPN)
Because it is April Fool’s Day, here’s the history on some of the most famous practical joke gags. You mean to tell me the Whoopie Cushion wasn’t created by the gods themselves? (mental floss)
I promise you that this is single-handedly the coolest thing you’ll see on the internet today: Bruce Lee vs. Iron Man. Enjoy!
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.