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Want To Keep Your Man? Learn To Use A Machine Gun.

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | November 3, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | November 3, 2010 |

No one likes breaking up, especially when it’s covered by the media for all to see and you somehow see a story about it on Unzipped before you can even tell your mother (seriously Zach, HOW?!) Anyway, here are 9 films that killed the real life romances of their stars. I’m a little surprised Mr. & Mrs. Smith didn’t make the list, but maybe it was just too easy. (Nerve)

No lie: I spent a good two hours just going through this site last night, and it is fucking GOLD. Basically, it takes captcha words (you know those words you have to type in to make sure you’re not a bot? Those ones) and makes comics out of them. (Captcha Art)

I’m not sure how many of you really follow the stars of the Disney Channel, but regardless, Demi Lovato, who is 18-years-old, checker herself into rehab to get help for her self-harming and her eating disorder. Seriously: This is a child. Fuck you so hard Disney. Fuck you so hard. (popbytes)

If Randy Moss doesn’t get picked up on waivers today, he may have one helluva hip-hop career ahead of him. (Warning: Awesome) (UglyFours)

Today’s quiz is all about the oddly specific theme of underwater cartoons and gay fish. It also doesn’t hurt that as of writing I’m #1 on the leader boards, so woooo! This is why I’m going to die alone. (Litely Salted)

Here are 20 plot twists famous movies should have had, but didn’t. Consider this a fair warning to those of you who haven’t seen Toy Story 3 yet, but there be some spoilers in there. But that’s okay, because the movie still wasn’t as good as How To Train Your Dragon. What? It wasn’t! (Cracked)

Give yourselves a pat on the back, nerds: Scott Pilgrim may have tanked at the box office, but thanks to you, it’s now the third most illegally downloaded movie on the web, right after Inception and The Social Network! USA! USA! Oh, and quick aside here: Anybody in TO going to Edgard Wright/Bryan Lee O’Malley/Ellen Wong signing on Friday? (Film Drunk)

HA! So Burlesque is coming out in a few weeks (and you couldn’t fucking pay me to see it) and Dita Von Teese, the world’s most famous burlesque performer, pretty much flat out said that it was going to suck. No, really? Colour me just shocked. (Agent Bedhead)

Oh good, it seems ABC has taken the tiniest little babystep back in the right direction, and instead of giving a TV deal to a Twitter feed, they’re giving it to a one-trick-pony blog called “Dealbreakers” (Not associated with the show from 30 Rock, but pretty much the exact same concept.) Just so you know, if you’re man ends up watching the show? That’s a dealbreaker, ladies. (Warming Glow)

Oooooo boy… I’ve deliberately been avoiding Billy Ray Cyrus’ divorce here, but now it’s starting to look like the reason for their split was because Tish, Miley’s Mom, had an affair with Bret Michaels. Man, the CMA Awards are going to be soooooo awkward this year… (Celebitchy)

It’s a good day for transexuals and Scrabble fans everywhere, because Mikki Nicholson has become the world’s first transexual Scrabble national champion! Ah yeah… remember when there used to be Scrabble sex on Pajiba? Someone needs to have Scrabble sex here. (Gamma Squad)

OH GODDAMMIT TO FUCKING HELL, Kim Kardashian is recording an album now because of fucking course she is. You know what? Fuck this shit in the ear, I’m not living on a planet where all you need to get signed for a recording contract is a sex tape where you get peed on. BECAUSE I HAVE TWO (well, not really). (Celebslam)

A shameless bit of promotion here, but our own dammitjanet is launching her own homemade goods business where you can buy delicious dessert rolls, cakes, pies and cookies from her, so if you’re in the area and you have a sweet tooth, get on that shit. (Baked4You)

You know what’s better than regular Allie Brosh? ANIMATED ALLIE BROSH. Here’s one of her old posts on manly shower products, now turned into a movie for your viewing pleasure.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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