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Only Terry Richardson Could Make All-American Girl Kate Upton Look Skeevy

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | May 2, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | May 2, 2012 |

I don’t know the source of Terry Richardson’s superhero powers of perversity, but I wish someone would throw a rock of Kryptonite in it. When you do this to Kate Upton, you should have your photography card pulled. Ick. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of having cards pulled, this Bright Orange mother should have her parent card pulled for subjecting her FIVE YEAR OLD to a tanning bed. (Gawker)

On the subject of bad parenting, apparently if you let your kid watch beer commercials, he or she will be more likely to grow up a drunk. (MediaPost)

But the taker of the cake in the bad parent department is anyone who listens to this pastor, who warns parents to PUNCH their kids if they start acting gay. (Buzzfeed)

As Joanna pointed out yesterday, Stephen King wants Obama to tax the rich even more, but Jon Lovitz thinks Obama is an asshole for taxing them too much. (Breitbart)

Come on: Show of hands. Who watches USA Network programming, especially in the summer? Now, who watches it mostly for the eye candy? Here I rank the USA Network programming purely in terms of eye candy, and sorry ladies, Matt Bomer’s show fell slightly short. (WarmingGlow)

Grandmas watching the Kardashian sex tape: ” OHMYGOD. LOOK AT IT. What is her problem? She’s just laying there.” Old people are hilarious. (FilmDrunk)

Unreality unburies the 15 Best Pictures of Scarlet Johansson, and guess what? They’re not nearly as good as the these 10 images of Paul Rudd, although I will give her the upper hand in the chest department. (Unreality)

They’ve cast the lead villain in the Oldboy remake, and while there’s no way this movie should be made, they’re doing a solid job of lining up the principal actors. (FSR)

You know what’s sad? Even among women only, “Two and a Half Men” is just as popular a show as it is with men. (Broadcasting Cable)

Here’s an interesting think piece on the way television writers can get away with casting bad actors by building the character around their flaws. See, e.g.: January Jones and Stana Katic. (Salon)

GQ has a great interview up with Joss Whedon, in which Whedon talks about his Batman script, among other things. (GQ)


Damon Lindelof says that “Lost” might return. Don’t believe him. He’s already fucked you too many times in your life. (Videogum)

If you’re going to get a Wolverine tattoo that looks this crappy, don’t even bother, man. Don’t even bother. (Geekologie)

My kid often tells me that he wants to grow up and be a programmer, because he really wants to modify “Angry Birds,” because he doesn’t think it’s fair that the pigs can’t fight back. Well, apparently, it’s not always a lucrative profession, as the guy who invented Angry Birds got only a sweatshirt for his troubles. (Kotaku)

Here’s 5 Reality Shows that Might Help Save You Survive the Apocalypse. What? No “Top Chef?” Why isn’t fine dining important during the End Times? (FSR)

Here’s a trailer for Klown, a movie about a Danish guy who likes to sleep with overweight women. It is, to say the least, not safe for work, unless you work in the bowels beneath hell. (Slashfilm)

Guess who will play a young version of Jon Hamm in a mini-series about post WWI Russian doctors? You’ll never, ever guess, but it’s kind of appropriate. (The Playlist)

Totally! Fassbender would be fun in the shower. (Hot Ink)

Here’s what Amanda Seyfried looks like as former porn star Linda Lovelace. (AV Club)

If I’d seen this 1950’s commercial for Mr. Potato Head when I was a kid, I’d have been scarred for life, with a case of Potnonomicaphobia so severe that french fries would give me the shakes. THOSE POTATO CREATURES ARE HIDEOUS.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.