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Of Course That Dude is Not Checking Out Alison Brie's Ass; He's Admiring Her Uggs

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | April 12, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | April 12, 2012 |

I’ll say this: A Ron Swanson and Rorschach (Watchmen) mash-up is something that never even would’ve occurred to me. (Uproxx)

That image above comes from my WG colleague, Danger Guerrero, who appreciates the casualness with which the balding guy leers. Just sippin’ on my coffee, staring at Annie Edison’s butt. Nice weather, huh? (WG)

Want to see what Jennifer Lawrence and The Emu look like together? Here’s the first image from The Silver Linings Playbook. (Slashfilm)

Speaking of Ms. Lawrence, did you guys know she was dating Nicholas Hoult, the kid from About a Boy? Also, Lawrence is dopey as hell, in the best possible way. (Celebitchy)

Here’s your first details on J.K. Rowling’s new book, a black comedy. (The Mary Sue)

Forbes ranked the 10 Most Profitable TV Shows of last year, and they’re basically all the ones you hate. (WarmingGlow)

There’s a lot of sh*t flying around today about Mel Gibson, Joe Eszterhas, and the continuing saga of his Anti-semitism. It all basically boils down to this: Mel Gibson is still an insufferable asshole, but Payback will always be a great movie. (Videogum)

If you thought the Zombie Ass trailer was weird, check out the Zomboobies trailer. Japanese filmmakers are super weird, guys. And kind of perverse. (Talking Robot)

Thanks to that parenting article I wrote last week, I’ve been introduced to STFU Parents — a favorite of TK’s — and it’s fucking phenomenal. Here, for instance, are 5 things that parents should stop talking to their childless friends about. (STFU Parents)

Speaking of, there’s a war or words going on between Hilary Rosen — a CNN pundit — and Ann Romney, Mitt’s wife and stay-at-home Mom, about the value of being a stay-at-home mother. Is being a stay-at-home mom with an army of nannies a tough life? Maybe, maybe not. But here’s what annoys me: Butthurt politicians need to STOP DEMANDING APOLOGIES. In fact, everyone needs to stop it. NO ONE OWES ANYONE AN EMPTY FUCKING APOLOGY. Stop being apology bullies. Grow a pair. (Jezebel)

This list is just fantastic: Six Awesomely Human Moments from “Louie.” (Unreality)

This list of 11 Fun Facts about the Greatest Kids books includes a nugget about the fact that the son-in-law of Arnold Lobel, the author of Frog and Toad are Friends is Cousin Larry from “Perfect Strangers.” Not mentioned is the fact that Frog and Toad is about Lobel’s closeted relationship with another man. (MentalFloss)

And while we’re over there, one of my favorite Internet writers, Kathy Benjamin, offers up 11 Things You Might Not Know about Income Tax. Am I alone in putting taxes off until this weekend? (MentalFloss)

Mark Wahlberg will be the next John Grisham lawyer, which is fine, I suppose, but I’m of the opinion that all Grisham lawyers should be played by Matthew McConaughey. It’s the one thing he’s great at. (FSR)

Joanna and Dave Chen go to town on the season finale of “Justified” in the latest podcast, plus — and the reason JoRo isn’t covering today’s PL — she’s interviewing series creator Graham Yost. (Justifiedcast)

Here’s a fantastic comic strip that explores the problems of busty women. (BustyGirlComics)

I love that Richard Greico is still invited to things, but I think it’s kind of odd that Harry Dean Stanton — some 40 years his senior — is holding up better. (Jezebel)

Ask Men explores the 10 Reasons Why You Don’t Have Rock Hard Abs. Here’s Number 11: Go Fuck Yourself, Ask Men. (AskMen)

Today in Breitbart: The liberal baiting dickheads explain why Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert can’t actually be American phenoms: Because they’re regularly beaten by “Basketball Wives” in the ratings. I love it when people use the popularity of something to measure its worth; it gives me a reason to immediately dismiss their opinion. (Big Hollywood)

Here’s a fascinating read exploring why Jay Z is better than Kanye, using President Obama’s preferences as a hook. (The Atlantic)

One final note on the Most Important Question in the History of the Internet: Babies vs. Dogs vs. Cats, the evolutionary psychologists who unduly influenced the results of that poll offered a reason why the Internet prefers cats and dogs to babies:

One result, which struck me as well as an alert reader, is the disdain for baby pictures. Evolutionary psychology tells us that human babies should be far, far more appealing in appearance than kittens, otters, or dogs, for we’re evolved to bond with human infants but not kittehs. Yet many of us—I’m included here—find the appearance of human larvae either repugnant or a matter of indifference. I tend to view them as small animated hamburgers who become worthy of attention only with about six years of ageing. If evolutionary psychology is correct, either the internet should be loaded with pictures of babies, or human infants should resemble kittens. It’s a mystery. (WhyEvolutionIsTrue)

Finally, no matter what you’re preference — cats, dogs, or babies — there’s one thing we can all agree upon: Nobody wants to see old people doing it doggy-style. These are the things we can’t unsee.

If Joss Whedon Were Casting The Avengers in 2002, It Might Look Something Like This | A Totally Earnest, Totally Amazing, Totally Heartbreaking, Totally Rousing Addition to the 'It Gets Better' Campaign

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.