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No, Scarlett Johansson Didn't Audition to Date Tom Cruise (Probably)

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | June 27, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | June 27, 2018 |


Good evening, you sons of bitches. Welcome to a late-night edition of Pajiba Love, because I like to keep things unpredictable. Sometimes, I’ll drop it in the afternoon, and sometimes at night, but I’ll never tell you when. You just gotta click refresh over and over and over until it arrives. It’s how I pay for the kids’ summer camp.

Honestly, I just didn’t have the stomach for it this afternoon, and the only reason I have the stomach for it now is because I’ve been drinking. WELCOME TO PAJIBA LOVE AFTER DARK.

So, “Big Dick Energy” is apparently a thing now, and though I have not actually read the “Big Dick Energy” article yet, I don’t need to. I know exactly of what it speaks and you’re goddamn right the Best Chris has BDE. Motherfucker could light a city with his BDE. (Lainey)

Jessica Chastain has sported four different looks this week, and right about now, pictures of Jessica Chastain is exactly my speed. (Celebitchy)

Here’s a shot of Leo and Brad in Tarantino’s Sharon Tate/Charles Manson project, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. On the one hand, I really have no desire to watch a Tarantino film right now. On the other hand, a DiCaprio/Pitt/Margot Robbie flick is going to be hard to walk away from. (Dlisted)

As racist and trash as this country seems to be these days, it’s still good to know that if you are openly racist on social media, there are still consequences. SHAME IS ALL WE HAVE LEFT IN OUR ARSENAL, LIBS. (The Root)

Here’s The Office scene where Ed Helms had to duck behind the wall on the 30th take because he still couldn’t stop laughing, which is pretty exceptional considering Helms had his sense of humor surgically removed at birth. (Uproxx)

Apropos of nothing: The Internet’s hilariously worst URL.


I can’t even bring myself to mention what everyone is talking about today, so here’s Chris Campbell’s best comedies of the year, so far. I kind of agree, except move Blockers to number 1 and remove Paddington 2 because that’s not a comedy. I mean, it’s an amazing movie, but that’s not a comedy. (No offense, Chris.) (FSR)

Evan Rachel Wood will receive the same pay as her male co-stars next season, which — like — why isn’t she already? Are there any men who get more screentime than her? What even the fuck? (FanGrrls)

Scarlett Johansson’s vehement denial is the only reason anyone is even talking about this story. DON’T DENY SO VEHEMENTLY, SCARLETT. (Jezebel)

Bojack’s coming back this fall:

The Knickerbocker used to be Hollywood’s most famed hotel, and then a whole lot of bad shit happened there, and now it’s fucking haunted. (Ranker)

HEY! Our own Hannah Sole is among these folks.

“Welcome to TV’s golden age of “What the hell did I just watch?” Amen. (AV Club)

A few months ago, Daniel Mallory Ortberg, beloved by many as a cofounder of The Toast and author of Texts From Jane Eyre, came out as trans. Shibuyama snatched up Ortberg’s recently released The Merry Spinster: Tales Of Everyday Horror. In the retold fairytales, he builds dread, subverts expectations, and plays with gender. "After all, if a frog can talk and a tree can bestow gifts, why can’t gender shift like a sea princess growing land legs?" Happy Pride Month! Were you familiar with The Toast’s "Children’s Stories Made Horrific" series? (Cannonball Read 10)

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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