Minka Kelly, you STAY AWAY FROM SEAN PENN. I thought we’d been over this! (Lainey)
If Emily Blunt misses John Krasinski’s old body so much, I’m sure there are plenty of us here who would be happy to help her out and take his new one off her hands. (Celebitchy)
Starbucks has since apologized and is “investigating the incident,” but how did anyone think a statue of a black child in a loincloth and safari hat, holding out its weight in coffee beans, represented anything but an attempt to make slavery adorable? It should not take Thandie Newton tweeting for the company— or even just the individual store, if this wasn’t corporately sanctioned— to feel ashamed. (Independent)
This product is so cool, and I fully agree that I can’t remember ever— literally ever— seeing such a horrible marketing campaign. Kudos to the woman around the 45 second mark who nearly punches this dude.
Let's say it together: Worst. Viral Marketing Campaign. Ever. https://t.co/YVivKHKSfX— David Chen (@davechensky) January 8, 2016
You may have seen this brilliant non-review of The Force Awakens going around. It’s a long read, but absolutely worth your time. It’s less a review of the movie as it is a response to the current need to be contrarian and hateful and always above the pack. It’s a much-needed piece, it’s beautiful, and it supports the “fuck the Huffington Post” mentality I know a lot of you live by. (Facebook)
While we’re talking about Star Wars things, this 2010 video game weirdly predicted the biggest twist of The Force Awakens. Do I even need to say “spoliers” here? Someone will yell at me if I don’t, I’m sure. So… spoilers. (i09)
I admit I don’t know anything about sports things, but I am in love with the Green Bay Packers’ love of romantic comedies. Expect for the one who doesn’t like 10 Things I Hate About You. He can go rot. (WSJ)
THIS IS ENTIRELY NECESSARY: A practical lesson in how to throw a knife. (Inverse)
Better Call Saul’s first season 2 trailer is out. February 15th, be here now! (Uproxx)
I really want to say something about Cate Blanchett’s dress that doesn’t involve a sister wives reference or a period stain joke, but I’m coming up empty so I’lll just walk away from the whole thing. (Go Fug Yourself)
This graph of all the ways you can die is terrifying. Especially, I think, because I’m still in the common “external causes” age range.That just feels menacing. Not that it will be any less scary once “internal” takes over and my own body turns against me. *Sigh* I’m going to hide in my bed for the rest of ever. (Flowing Data)
One of the true delights of the Cannonball Read is the One Star Review. In the first week of CBR8 (register here) there have been some stellar reviews and some great scathing reviews (we are a bitchy people). First time Cannonballer Kiasha rips into Copygirl by Anna Mitchael and Michelle Sassa. What is Kiasha’s main problem with Copygirl? The protagonist who wants to break through the glass ceiling but “…is universally shitty towards every person she meets, except for Ben and an overseas friend who speaks in excruciating Franglish.” Copygirl claims to be Mad Men meets Devil Wears Prada, but Kiasha suggests you “…sit down with delightful Meryl Streep, or one of Peggy Olson’s awesome moments instead of spending any time with this sad version of a “girl power” success story.” I think we can do that.
Happy Friday, everyone! Remember to never ever give up, no matter how innately bad you are at something. Ever.