My dearest darling Pajibans, what have we always said is the most important thing? (Boing Boing)
Speaking of food, Vulture has inexplicably compiled a list of Everything Brad Pitt Has Ever Eaten In A Movie. The Ocean franchise alone would break me. (Vulture)
Okay, now on to your second favorite topic. This rather tasteless site has a list of 30 New Sexual Positions Based On Movie Titles. The language is a little crass, there are some unclassy images and, most criminal of all, it lacks wit. I bet you all could do better. However, the first one of you sickos to mention Operation Dumbo Drop is banned for life. (I Heart Chaos)
I’m kidding, of course. I don’t have that kind of power. If I did I would already be the proud owner of an orange crocodile. (io9) Or, better yet, an iPhone 5. Which now has an official release date. Or, announcement date? I dunno, either way, there’s a date and it’s soon. (TechCrunch)
Maybe I should just steal that crocodile. Yeah. That sounds smart. A sorta Raising Arizona scenario. What could possibly go wrong? Speaking of really, truly clever plans, here are 10 Movie and TV Schemes That Inspired Real Crimes. (Spike)
Nothing makes me happier than an angry Lewis Black. NOTHING. Here he is risking a Myocardial Infarction over the Chaz Bono nontroversy. (Uproxx)
Sometimes I get Lewis Blackoplectic over political matters and it offends the apolitical readers of Pajiba. So, okay, um, have you heard about the Wall Street Demonstrations where some police went a little extreme with the non-violent protestors? Well, um, LOOK, Susan Sarandon was there! She’s like famous and stuff. (Gothamist)
I love Sarandon, nothing would please me more than if she were to agree to be my Fake Girlfriend. Is this site real? Would one of you try it? PRETTY PLEASE FOR ME? (Fake Girlfriend)
I also rather want the creator of this Chewbacca suit to be my fake boyfriend. I’d bend his Wookiee any day. (Unreality)
Here’s a funky little gallery of famous actors transplanted onto Russian military portraiture. “C’mon, it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick ‘em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going into Wisconsin!” (Curious Brain)
Speaking of far flung places, over the last two decades, this Canadian man sent over 4,800 messages in a bottle along the Atlantic coastline. Since 1996 he has received over 3,100 responses from all over the world. I’m sorry, that’s adorable. (BBC)
Stoners the world over will be slightly more red-eyed today, the inventor of Doritos passed away at the age of 97. Read this inappropriately pun-laden obituary and then check out this list of the 102 flavors of Doritos from around the world. (Now That’s Nifty)
You heard me, I said “inappropriately pun-laden.” Even I have my limits. And while we’re on the subject of Doritos, here is a super cut of Film’s Favorite Stoners. I’m not one to say obnoxious sh*t like, “This list is invalidated because it’s missing ___________,” but, hell, this list is invalidated because it’s missing both Withnail and I. Not to mention Danny.
Speaking of Dannys, here is an adorably nervous Dan Akroyd, at the age of 22, auditioning for “SNL.” THEY CALL HIM DANNY. Just watching him settle in at the beginning made my palms sweat.
Joanna Robinson could definitely use a Camberwell Carrot right about now.