Let Us All Hope For Wino Forever, Plus Kevin Spacey Gives The Best Photobombs
You’ve already learned by now (thanks to Dustin) that chicks really dig beards (it’s science), but research continues to suggest that dudes with facial hair get luckier than their smooth-faced counterparts. Stubble is okay, but I draw the line at neck beards and soul patches. (Mental Floss)
Lindsay Lohan’s rehab merry-go-round adventure continues. Yesterday, she reportedly checked in to Morningside and then checked out two minutes later. She’s right, she doesn’t need rehab — because you can’t 12-step the “asshole” out of her. (Dlisted)
Most of us can agree that spoilers suck, and they’re nearly unavoidable if you spend any time at all on Twitter. There’s so much rage directed at people who gleefully spoil, and for good reason. What doesn’t make sense, however, is that people are completely willing to watch movie trailers while also realizing that they spoil more than social media could ever hope to accomplish. (The Mary Sue)
Speaking of SPOILERS, it sounds like Zack Snyder’s upcoming Man of Steel reboot is fudging a key detail in regards to the Superman/General Zod dichotomy. I won’t elaborate, but click through if you want the deets. (io9)
HBO is developing a pilot that will star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and will be produced by both Johnson and Mark Wahlberg. The series is conceived as a 30-minute dramedy that revolves around retired athletes who reside in Miami. As long as Dwayne goes shirtless and Michael Bay has no part in the project, this sounds like a great plan. (Vulture)
Great news, guys. Chinese scientists have been busily engineering deadly strains of the Avian flu by combining the H5N1 bird-flu virus (very deadly) with a 2009 strain of H1N1 (very transmissible between humans). Excuse me while I contemplate re-reading Laurie Garrett’s The Coming Plague. (Kotaku)
This series of 23 reasons why Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp should get back together really brings back memories. Mind you, they shouldn’t actually re-interface because two decades without contact have passed for a reason, but isn’t it fun to fantasize? (Buzzfeed)
Sadly though, there’s not much of a chance for Johnny and Winona getting back together anytime soon. Why? Because he’s finally gone public with his “very serious” relationship with blonde, booby flavor of the month, Amber Heard. (Celebitchy)
Shane Black talks about the pressure of directing and co-writing Iron Man 3, and he’s cautiously optimistic. Also, I love how everyone sort of pretends that Iron Man 2 never fucking happened. (Grantland)
If you haven’t heard of Amy Schumer, then it’s only a matter of time because her new Comedy Central show scored the highest viewership out of all the network’s season debuts. Schumer is touted as “a female-centric take on bro-comedy,” and she sounds a lot funnier than, say, Sarah Silverman. (Warming Glow)
Steampunk has steadily run its course and now finds itself among the many things that hipsters will make fun of for sport. Still, how can you resist the Tinkerbell variant, Steampunkerbel? What a nice caboose. (Unreality.com)
Katy Perry managed to dress up in a gorgeous Vera Wang gown that highlighted her fantastic figure without looking completely tacky. Strange. (Go Fug Yourself)
Kevin Spacey was jogging through a Boston park and decided to make a cameo appearance in a very surprised lady’s photo. He even shouted, “Photobomb!” God, he is so awesome. Anyone want to go running in Boston with me right now? (Gawker)
Michael B. Jordan is being floated (by the internet) as a possible contender to play The Human Torch (or as I call the character, “Johnny Firepants”). The dude has received raves for his work on “The Wire” and “Friday Night Lights,” so maybe it’s time for him to cash in on some popcorn-crunching flicks. (Film School Rejects)
Some dork created a replica of Thor’s hammer that supposedly fires 80,000 volts of electricity. For obvious reasons, this sounds like a terrible idea, and it doesn’t arrive with shirtless Chris Hemsworth in tow, so no thanks. (Uproxx)
Finally, here’s the dash-cam video of Reese Witherspoon getting arrested a few weekends ago in Atlanta. Clearly, girlfriend is channeling the drunken hillbilly version of Elle Woods.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.
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