Jeremy “Guh” Renner has managed to land ANOTHER role in a high-profile superhero movie, which just goes to show you that there just aren’t enough mediocre white men for all these roles! But the best part: He was the director’s first choice because Renner looks like a foot. (Lainey)
Remember when IHOP changed its name to IHOB? Yeah, well: Ha ha! Jokes on you. They were just kidding. Honestly: It was a savvy marketing move that probably worked in that it generated a shitton of attention for its burgers in a relatively cheap way. (Dlisted)
The Rock is not married to his wife, and he’s not been married to her for 10 years now, and he’s in no hurry to marry his wife so the woman he calls his wife is not actually his wife. Got it? (Celebitchy)
I genuinely love the premise here: “Newcomer Nicole Amber Maines stars in the indie film, Bit, about Laurel, a teenage transgender girl who moves to LA and falls in with a gang of intersectional feminist vampires.” Nicole is also a big deal here in Maine. A few years back, she sued her school to force them into letting her use the women’s restroom, and she won — it was the first ruling by state supreme court affirming a transgender person’s right to equal access to restrooms in public places. Also, she and her family lived directly across the street from me until two weeks ago. (Bye, Maines!) (Deadline)
When I saw a picture of Kevin Smith accompanying this headline, “Happy anniversary to the worst tweet ever,” I knew exactly to what tweet it’s referring, and the headline is not wrong. (AV Club)
Ten years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other WITH each other. A decade-plus and her clit/brown/taint-area still pOwns my dick.— KevinSmith (@ThatKevinSmith) July 9, 2009
Ironically, Kevin Smith is also responsible for the week’s dumbest Star Wars tweet.
If, due to a time travel device or the Force, there’s a plot development that allows Lando to repeat his EMPIRE STRIKES BACK line “There’s still a chance to save Han!” and get us back to that fateful bridge on Starkiller base? Then I’ll kiss JJ on the mouth. I’ll French him even. https://t.co/Tf1B4ppnmG— KevinSmith (@ThatKevinSmith) July 10, 2018
(Also: Glad to see you’re on the mend, Kevin. You looked great on Colbert the other day, and the heart attack clearly didn’t affect your storytelling abilities.)
Terry Crews is just a fucking joy. A JOY. (Vulture)
God bless The Washington Post for having to issue a correction after citing Clickhole in an article.
*Ahem*— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) July 10, 2018
This story has been updated to remove material attributed to a satirical Web publication, Clickhole. https://t.co/qxLXFS84Pw
The wonderful Simon Pegg opens up about his struggles with alcohol addiction. (Uproxx)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus seems to be doing well following her bout with cancer. She is also f—king ageless. (Jezebel)
Follow up to a story we ran last week: Over on Reddit, they have successfully randomly banned half of all the users in the Thanos subreddit, and the best part is, the Brothers Russo both joined the subreddit, and Anthony was banned but Joe survived. (Reddit)
Motherfucker, it doesn’t matter if they were “adults,” when they were sexually abused. They were still sexually abused, and the adult coach didn’t do a goddamn thing about it. What is wrong with you? How is this a defense? Are you fucking kidding me? (The Root)
The Katie part of Pattykates saw the trailer for the upcoming tv adaptation of Deborah Harkness’ A Discovery of Witches and knew they had a contender. Sure, Matthew Goode and Theresa Palmer are very pretty, but Katie said, "I get the feeling that this can be described as the avocado toast of books. Which is probably mean to the toast." Do you have plans to watch the series this fall? (Cannonball Read 10)
Speaking of books, just a little shout out to Benjamin Alire Sáenz’ YA book Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. The audiobook is read by Lin-Manuel Miranda and it is outstanding. Just an incredible coming-of-age story. Sweet, lovely, funny, heartbreaking, and kind. (Audible)
Finally, I leave you with this. It’s been an excruciatingly slow news day (save for terrible, awful news), and earlier today, I got bored and did a celebrity genealogy doodle, and ended up in a dead end once I hit Steven Van Zandt:
Tony Curtis was married to Janet Leigh. They gave birth to Jamie Lee Curtis, who is married to Christopher Guest. She is the god-mother to Jake Gyllenhaal (the brother of Maggie Gyllenhaal who is married to Peter Saarsgard). Jake Gyllenhaal is the godfather to Matilda Ledger, the daughter of Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams. Heath Ledger was the godfather of Damien Hurley, the son of Elizabeth Hurley (who is the godmother to Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham, the children of David Beckham and Victoria Beckham. Victoria Beckham is the godmother of Bluebell, the daughter of fellow Spice Girl, Gerri Horner (The other godfather was Kenneth Goss, the partner of late singer George Michael). Elizabeth Hurley is also the godmother to Patsy Kensit’s child with Liam Gallagher, and Kensit was also married to Jim Kerr, lead singer of the Simple Minds who used to be married to Chrissie Hynde who used to be married to Ray Davies of The Kinks who is brothers with Dave Davies who has a son whose godfather is John Carpenter (who directed Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween) who was married to Adrienne Barbeau who later married Billy Van Zandt, brother of Steven Van Zandt … and I’m stuck.
Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow. If you start with one of the Masterson kids or Stanley Tucci, I’m somewhat sure you can pretty much run through Hollywood.