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Keanu Reeves In A Classic Robert De Niro Role? Whoa.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | October 13, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | October 13, 2011 |

Alright, you discerning bunch. You caught me out yesterday. Occasionally (very rarely) I will post an article that comes highly recommended without reading it first. When I do that, you can usually tell. Such was the case with that Miranda July New Yorker article. You all are right, the tone was completely off-putting. I swear I’ll never do that again. Until next time. Let’s get to today’s links, all 100% read by me. “Cash-Strapped Topeka Decriminalizes Domestic Violence.” I’m just going to leave that there. (Mediaite)

I often wonder what brand of clever you readers are. Do you identify as Nerd, Dork or Geek? I took this fairly comprehensive quiz over on OKCupid and came out “Pure Nerd.” (74 % Nerd, 48% Geek, 22% Dork) I’d quibble with their use of “pure”…but anyway. Take the quiz if you like and report back to me. Don’t worry, you don’t need to give them any personal info. (OKCupid)

Movie nerd Scott Neumyer has a fantastic column called “Raising A Cinephile” for all you parent types out there who want to make sure your kid ends up following in your dorky footsteps. (Movies)

Speaking of little ones, that little princess girl who belted out an impressive Nicki Minaj cover? This is video of her meeting Minaj. It’s…you guys it’s just f*cking adorable. (Evil Beet)

Less adorable are these horrifically styled poodles. They’ve been shaved, moussed and painted to look like a My Little Pony and a Dragon. Okay the Dragon’s pretty awesome. (Telegraph)

Let’s take a break from poodles and princesses to talk Occupy Wall Street. Here’s an interesting tumblr in response to We Are The 99 Percent consisting of testimonials of rich folks who support the protesters. (We Are The One%) Also, as an offshoot of the protest, An Official Bank Transfer Day is being scheduled for the fifth of November (remember, remember). The movement encourages folks to transfer their money to Credit Unions, a move I was considering given the new Debit Card Usage Fees most big banks are rolling out. (The Street) And, finally, in a naked attempt to oust the protestors from Zuccotti Park, NYC is claiming the park needs to be closed for cleaning and that the protesters will be allowed back in once everything is spic and span. Unwilling to vacate, the protesters are going to clean the park themselves. That’s fairly clever. (Gothamist)

Ahhhhhh, too much politics! Look! “Community” outtakes! (Warming Glow)

In other TV Sitcom news, replica sent me this lovely “Arrested Development” tarot deck. (29 Tumblr)

Allegedly, Samuel L. Jackson has a Twitter account. I remain skeptical, but just in case, motherf*ckers. (Twitter)

Also? Here’s a Celebitchy article about Vincent D’Onofrio. Ostensibly it’s about how he’s lost weight but I don’t really care. I like my D’Onofrio fat, skinny, bearded and not. I’m just posting because there’s NEVER news of Vincent D’Onofrio. (Celebitchy)

In fact. Let’s talk sandwiches. GOOD has put out a map of the United States of Good Sandwiches. (GOOD)

But all you sandwich eaters, beware. You’ll never look like Barbie if you keep eating. Here’s an arresting image of a gorgeous naked woman marked up with the cuts a plastic surgeon would have to make to turn her into Barbie. It’s fairly SFW. (Healthy Is The New Skinny)

Speaking of arresting images, Haper’s Bazaar has put out a pictorial of iconic scenes from Scorcese films recast with modern actors. Some choices are inspired others are, well, Harper’s Bizarre. Chloë Moretz as Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver? Sure. Keanu Reeves as Robert De Niro? Um. Hell no. (Harper’s Bazaar)

Check out this video of a toddler who thinks magazines are just broken iPads. I want to find this cute, but mostly I find it distressing.

Finally, because I begged him, Dustin let me post the Albert Nobbs trailer in today’s Pajiba Love. Cynics are calling it Glenn Close’s desperate and vain grab for Oscar gold, but I honestly think it’s a passion project for her. And I love passion projects. Here she is playing a 19th Century Irish woman who cross-dresses in order to be able to work and support herself. Oh I know, it’s no Scarlett Johansson Exploding Bus Movie, but I’m excited. After you watch the trailer, head over to The Film Experience for Nathaniel’s fantastic analysis of the trailer’s rather uneven tone. He’s even more excited than I am.

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