In a move that I would certainly classify as doing something, President Joe Biden has called for a nationwide assault weapons ban following a deadly two weeks that has practically seen a mass shooting every single day. Republicans, on the other hand, think more guns are the solution, particularly in the hands of teachers, whom they just spent months calling “groomers” and radical deviants. With that in mind, obviously, both parties are exactly the same. It’s almost impossible to tell them apart, amirite?

Today, President Biden called for banning assault weapons and high-capacity magazines in a prime-time address to the nation from the White House in which he said “this time we must actually do something” and that the 2nd Amendment is “not absolute.” https://t.co/kiCTACxVw0 pic.twitter.com/W30h31OgLd

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) June 3, 2022

Barry’s incredibly constructed motocross dirt bike chase and public shootout scene is a stark illustration of everything wrong with America. (Lainey Gossip)

Kim Kardashian will eat literal shit if it will make her look younger. Clearly, the #Girlboss role model America needs. (Dlisted)

The Windsors are reportedly desperate to use the Sussex children as “inclusivity props.” Gross. (Celebitchy)

NEW from me: I spoke to DV survivors & victims’ advocates about the Depp/Heard verdict. According to one advocate, “hundreds” of survivors have already retracted victim statements & pulled out from court cases as a result of watching the trial. https://t.co/rG1KA4BEPP

— Ej Dickson (@ejdickson) June 1, 2022

Speaking of the shit show trial, here are the celebs who can’t wait to support poor ol’ Johnny Depp. Pretty surprising list. (Daily Beast)

On Crooked Marquee, Kayleigh wrote a rousing defence of David Cronenberg’s most underrated film, M. Butterfly. (Crooked Marquee)

From Claude: You know what the embattled crypto sphere needed? Deepfake scams. (Vice)

From Roxana: The only time I have found Gwyneth Paltrow relatable.

Losing my mind at this back and forth in the comments section. pic.twitter.com/g6swQiTsNd

— openly deaf (@therealaaronk) June 2, 2022

Oh damn! The Resident Evil 4 remake rumors were true. (Kotaku)

Michael Avenatti gets four years in prison for illegally pocketing a significant chunk of Stormy Daniels’ book advance. (NPR)

Warner Bros. is sticking with Ezra Miller in The Flash because, frankly, their only other option is scrapping the movie entirely. (Variety)

A new job has made it tough for Mobius_Walker to read, but Amanda Gorman’s poetry collection, Call Us What We Carry, reinvigorated him and made him fill the book with post-its. "I’m usually not one to mark up my books or put any post-its in books, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed something to be able to go back to my favorite poems and lines." How do you mark favorite passages? (Cannonball Read 14)

Love seeing all the love from LGBTQ+ fans today! Now here's one I call the "ready to fight your homophobic relatives" pose. Just kidding. (Or am I?) Haha! 😘 pic.twitter.com/5voHHdZViA

— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) June 1, 2022

Mike is a Staff Contributor living in Pennsyltucky. You can follow him on Twitter.