When you attend a movie premiere, and all your exes and their exes are in attendance, the Jennifer Lawrence story. (LG)

When the “#MeToo movement” turns into the #Me movement, the Asia Argento and Rose McGowan story. (Dlisted)

When your wife is too busy paying attention to your three kids to pay attention to you, so you act out by calling for the repeal of the 13 Amendment, the Kanye story. #MAGA (Celebitchy)

When you look stunning no matter what you wear, the Emma Stone story. (GFY)

When you’re scared for the future of your sons because one day they might not be able to sexually assault women without consequence, the Donald Trump Jr. story. (The Root)

When you can no longer carry on this conceit, the Dustin Rowles story. Hey, look! Richard Grant!

Helping my daughter pack and she found this olde coat. Urged me to see if it’s still fitted and urged me to pose with a bottle of Margaux. ‘Chin-chin’! pic.twitter.com/I8hWaC2V8b

— Richard E. Grant (@RichardEGrant) September 30, 2018

I saw the teaser for the Elton John trailer this morning, and as I have an unyielding affection for ’70s Elton John, I was pretty excited about it … until Taron Egerton began to sing. It doesn’t sound right, although I am still fairly excited for the film. (Lainey)

Speaking of Kanye (above), Lana del Ray, who sang at Kim and Kanye’s wedding, has had it.

LANA LITERALLY SNAPPED pic.twitter.com/RxdXSk3L6x

— piercey (@piercespears) September 30, 2018

Good news, dope fiends: You can now carry on a small amount of marijuana on flights out of LAX (this does not guarantee that you won’t be stopped when you land in Kentucky). (CBS)

Whaaaaaaaaaa?

This is what happens when women’s bodies are SO sexualised by society and by porn that this guy actually thinks breastfeeding is a sexual act on a baby.

Please, aliens, come and kill us all. I can’t keep reading this dumb ass shit. pic.twitter.com/xgcV8RPnpV

— Jessica Eaton (@Jessicae13Eaton) October 1, 2018

That Matt Damon cameo on SNL came together literally in the final hours and required that Damon fly from L.A. to NYC on the day of the live performance. (Vulture)

Yeah, OK. OK. Harbour looks good.

Check out the first poster for #Hellboy! pic.twitter.com/H1hH7Q0592

— Geeks of Color (@GeeksOfColor) October 1, 2018

Jenny Slate is very “horny,” she says (17 times) in her new Nylon profile, but not that kind of horny. Not exactly, anyway. (Jezebel)

Yesterday was the 150th anniversary of the first publication of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. Getoffmylawnn has read this classic American novel many times, always identifying most with Jo. "For my review I’d like to focus on the author herself, seeing as she wrote this as a semi-autobiographical account of her life as an author, an abolitionist and an early feminist." What she finds may shock you, especially the last claim, with which Dr. House would vociferously disagree. Are you planning to see the modern version that came out Friday, or is there another adaptation that is more dear to your heart? (Cannonball Read 10)

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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