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Jennifer Garner Is No One's Ashes, Sad Affleck

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | February 20, 2017 |

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | February 20, 2017 |

I misread this headline and thought it said “Kim Kardashian is getting her belly button removed” and I thought FINALLY, the Kyle XY look is in. (Celebitchy)

When rich celebrities like Angelina Jolie talk about how hard it is to be a parent, a lot of people immediately go “OH BOO-THE-EFF-HOO” and make a jerkoff motion, but I usually spitblow my bangs out of my face and sob, “I HEAR YOU, ANGIE”, because kids are a lot of work. (Dlisted)

What do you do when you suffer from sciatica and can’t sleep? If you’re David Mitchell (the British comedian, not the British novelist) you walk and then you write Back Story. Mathildehoeg was laughing at the first page, but turned on by the cover. You’ll have to read her review to find out why. (Cannonball Read 9)

The Great Wall, that white-savior Matt Damon movie is a big enough mess on its own, but Damon’s terrible fake man bun is a mess cherry on this mess sundae. (Revelist)

No, but this is a shirt though. Seriously. I don’t understand. WHAT OF YOUR BUTTFLAPS, GWEN? WHAT OF YOUR FLAPS? (Go Fug Yourself)

Jennifer Garner remains infinitely superior to her ex-husband. If anyone is “the ashes” it’s him. (Lainey)

It’s not often that I get actual tips for better living from Reductress, BUT THAT ALL CHANGES TODAY. (Reductress)

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