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Jeff Sessions Is So F--ked

By Ursula Scully | Pajiba Love | November 2, 2017 |

By Ursula Scully | Pajiba Love | November 2, 2017 |

Al Franken wrote a scathing email to racist Keebler elf Jeff Sessions for being a lyin’ liar. The order of who I want to see go down in this administration: 1. Kushner 2. Don Jr 3. Jeff Sessions. Fingers crossed that Senator Franken makes one of my dreams come true. (Google Drive)

And now there is this too:

*kisses fingers like a chef*

Lying about George P. and Carter Page adds two lies to the lies he’d already told under oath about having no knowledge of attempts by anyone on the campaign to cooperate with Russia. I mean, how many perjury counts do you need before you indict? ‘sup Mueller?

Shall we discuss the Republican tax bill? Or nah? (NPR)

Did you see Justin Trudeau’s son Halloween costume? It’s sweet. You’ll want to see the rest of the fam as well. Trust. (Teen Vogue)

This is an interesting article about how VR is being used to treat those suffering from chronic pain. (Wired)

Jeff Goldblum is a treasure. That is all. (GQ)

There are four states that currently bar ex-felons from voting (Florida, Iowa, Kentucky, and Virginia). Last year this right was restored to 200,000 people in Virginia. It could be a big deal in their upcoming gubernatorial election. (Mother Jones)

A 30-year-old man sent his ex-girlfriend 144 nasty texts after she dumped his ass. This violated her protection order. What a stand-up chap, huh? The judge was having none of it. (The Cut)

Evidently, there is a secret chamber in the Pyramid of Giza. If there is a Hyperion Cantos Shrike in there, I won’t be surprised. (Vice)

This Middle-earth media briefing delights my nerd heart. (McSweeneys)

How did you do yesterday with leftover Halloween candy? Me? I’m surprised my pants fit today. Which state do you think eats the most? (Medium)

The Orville was renewed for a second season and this makes me very pleased. (Vulture)

These previously unseen pictures of David Bowie from 1983 made me smile. (The Guardian)

Perfect for Saint Nick’s Day: Women of NASA Legos. (5Things)

Remember the Gap ads in the ’90s? They were the best. I still sing the song from the vest commercial (with a surprise appearance by Ann Perkins!) Janelle Monae is in their new ad and it’s so cute. (Lainey Gossip)

I thought you could be Pregnant or Not Pregnant, but apparently, you could also be Doubly Pregnant. Yikes. (IFLScience)

Allison Janney in I, Tonya is just…wow. It’s just wow. (Dlisted)

Science was used to explore Marvel’s greatest and sexiest mystery: the shirtless scene. (Mashable)

I don’t understand why Papa John’s Pizza is a thing that exists on this earth. Any other cheap pizza is better. Literally, any other one. And on top of them selling garbage food, their CEO is a garbage person. Boycotting things like this is really easy: I don’t eat Chick-fil-A and I don’t eat Jimmy John’s. No sweat adding Papa John’s to this list. (Celebitchy)

The Fug Girls are chatting about Oprah’s Favorite Things. (GFY)

Not many people read plays for fun, but they can be a moving literary experience. #CannonBookClub is closing out the year with a play and would like you to help choose between 5 options. The choices are The Beauty Queen of Leenane by Martin McDonagh, Pygmalion by Bernard Shaw, The Real Inspector Hound by Tom Stoppard, Ruined by Lynn Nottage, and Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. Which play would you vote for? (Cannonball Read 9)

Ursula lives in Chicago and likes potatoes very much. You can follow her here.

Ursula is a Staff Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.