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Jeff Bezos Puts Pecker in A(mazon) Prime Pickle

By Ursula Scully | Pajiba Love | February 7, 2019 |

By Ursula Scully | Pajiba Love | February 7, 2019 |


Whatever else you want to say about Jeff Bezos — and there’s plenty to say — there’s arguably no billionaire better suited to owning The Washington Post, because when the National Enquirer threatened to publish his dick pics if the Post didn’t drop a damaging story, Bezos called their bluff. And then published the contents of their extortion attempt. On Medium. For the world to see. This, I trust, is only the top of the penis iceberg. (Medium)

Jennifer Aniston is turning 50 in a few days and sweet Godtopus, please let me look as good as she does at 50. (Celebitchy)

Billy Eichner is writing and going to star in a gay rom-com and I just hope there is 0% Craig Middlebrooks yelling because I worry about his heart. (Lainey Gossip)

Ozzy Osbourne was hospitalized due to the flu. Is it…bird flu? (I’m so, so sorry.) (Dlisted)

Everyone at the Tom Ford show looked very dapper. Naturally. (GFY)

Science is shitting on Superman’s strength and I am here for this. (Wired)

Speaking of superheroes, here is a post about the Women in White. (GQ)

I listen to Reply All and I enjoy it very much, but the idea that Gimlet Media is worth $230 million blows my mind. (Vulture)

Woody Allen is suing Amazon studios for $68 million and all I have to say about this is: fuuuuuuuuuck him. (The Wrap)

This article asks: “What makes a dinosaur real, but a unicorn unreal? Does philosophy even pretend to know how to answer a child’s questions?” Being a parent must be a mind-bending experience. (Aeon)

Y’all. I LOVE My Best Friend’s Wedding. I own it on DVD(!!) That lobster restaurant sing-along scene? That was my answering machine message. This reunion story pleases me greatly. (Buzzfeed)

What is a meal you make when no one is watching? My meal is Saltine crackers, cream cheese, and strawberry jelly “sandwiches”. That’s practically a gourmet meal when compared to these. (Mel Magazine)

I’m going to let the headline do the talking: The Five Families of Feces (Intelligencer)

I think the whole push for STEM education is basically a front to flood the market with graduates in order to reduce labor costs for tech companies. This article focuses on where the “learn to code” push is coming from, and surprise!, it’s the far-right. (The New Republic)

Did you eat something as a child that you loved, but as an adult, you can’t find it in the grocery store? This is a lovely story about searching for a particular sauce. I’m not really selling it well, but it’s a really cute read. (Catapult)

Yesknopemaybe has ranked Jane Austen’s books and is pretty sure Northanger Abbey is in 4th place. "Every year I tell myself I’m going to reread more, but this year I decided to be more honest about that goal and acknowledge that what I really mean is I’m going to reread Austen. She’s just the literal best." How would you rank Jane Austen’s novels? (Cannonball Read 11)

(Headline Hat Tip to Orlando Bishop)

Cheese is What Makes a Pizza Good (Or Bad). Pineapple Ruins All. | This 'National Enquirer' Business with Jeff Bezos Could Be the Pee Tape x 100

Ursula is a Staff Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.

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