You know me, I’m not overly fond of cute animal links unless they’re dinosaur related. But Friday’s aren’t about me, they’re about you, dear readers. And as much as I try to fight it, I can’t deny that you love your cute animal things. So here, interspersed amongst talk of live crabs in vending machines and Right Said Fred, is a heavy dusting of Pajiba Loves Animals links. Enjoy! We’ll start with this link from the lovely Mrs. Julien which lists 15 Cute Animals That Could Kill You. Why don’t I know anyone named Loris? I would call her “Slow Loris” every damn day. (Mother Nature Network)
Another thing I don’t get? Nutella. Why not just eat chocolate? It’s chocolate-y-er! For those of you who love Nutella and want to smother a slow loris in it, this Food Pyramid, courtesy of Lainey, is for you. (Skull Swap)
My least favorite animal? The Oh-So-Intellectual Douchebag. (The OSID is not the same thing as a Smart Person. I like Smart People.) MeBivDevoe sent me this wonderful list that reminds me of the pack of OSIDs I used to know in San Francisco. That’s right, it’s Favorite Books Of The Secretly Jerky! And while the gawky Jesse Eisenberg might be a little too Oh-So-Intellectual for your taste, I absolutely adore this piece that he wrote for McSweeney’s on how a pro-feminist man might try to pick up a lady in a bar. Thanks, esme! (McSweeney’s)
And while I have no doubt that most of the men participating in this Leisure Dive meme are Unintellectual Douchebags, I’m sort of charmed by this gallery from Even Stevens. Yes, I hate planking and owling but think Leisure Diving is cute. What can I say? Man is a giddy thing. (Yahoo)
Listen, ladies, intellectual or no, don’t marry a douchebag. Same goes for you gents. (LADIED CAN BE DOUCHEBAGS TOO, OKAY?) If you do, you might end up on this list (courtesy of Seakat) of the Most Expensive Weddings That Ended In Divorce. (Bossip)
Ah, but you know which weddings don’t end in divorce? The marriage of true minds. I’m convinced that’s the case with the lovely Angeleno Ewok and our very own C. Robert Dimitri (Darth Corleone) who just announced their engagement. Congratulations, guys! The blushing bride-to-be sent me this link about some enormously fat and possibly famous cat? I’ve never heard of him but he’s awfully cute in his morbid obesity. (MSNBC). The future groom sent me this gallery of grains of sand. Sounds boring, right? Actually it’s kind of mesmerizing. (Daily Fail)
You know, sometimes I forget about Jennifer Connelly’s stupendous rack, but there is always something there to remind me. Like The Rocketeer, or Celebitchy’s Hot Girl/Guy Friday, now with more Agent Bedhead! Some very nice picks this week. (Celebitchy)
I used to live in the big city of San Francisco, but have recently moved to a little hippie town in the country. It consistently smells of cow here and there’s a restaurant downtown that proudly advertises their fat free, vegan French Fries. I sort of want to install this Hot Fresh French Fry vending machine right outside their door. (Delish) And while those vending machines are odd, Mrs. Julien sent me this even odder round-up of vending machines. LIVE CRAB? REALLY? (The Week)
Many of those vending machines are from foreign shores and I’m sure if I traveled more I would have seen more of them. Oh, also, I might not suck so hard at these maddening Geography games Captain Tuttle sent to me. The game keeps cheekily asking me if I know that we live on earth. STOW YOUR SNARK, GAME. (Travel Pod)
Another favorite little internet pastime is this Amazing Fact Generator Sofia sent my way. It’s an oldie but a goodie. While I was on Mental Floss, though, I accepted their challenge and tried to name all the things Right Said Fred was Too Sexy for. I missed two and as the clock was counting down I kept frantically typing in wild guesses. “THE CATWALK!” “SLOW LORIS!” “MARK ZUCKERBERG!” (Mental Floss)
We’ll close today with two animal videos. This one, from Scully, is British folk doing voice-overs for wild animal footage. I’ll admit it, I laughed out loud. I’m not proud.
And while we’re on the subject of talking animals, Vee sent me this puppy video. It reminds me of that Beggin’ Strips commercial from my youth. I effing loved that commercial.
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