If Kunis and Portman Both Wanted To Make A Film About Casual Sex This Year, Why Couldn't It Be With Each Other?
But soft, what link through yonder window breaks, it is the east and this jackhole archeologist wants to dig up Shakespeare’s grave to find out if the Bard smoked the reefer. While I disagree with this man’s entire project, if it ends up inspiring some stoner Shakespeare plays (The Marijuana Wives Of Windsor? Twelfth Night or What You Roll?), I will be the first in line to see them. (The Mary Sue)
Also, what is the deal with exhuming people? Unless we need the DNA for a some Cold CSI Criminal Minds Case, Rest In Peace should be taken more seriously. Some feller in Tennessee wants to dig up the body of some guy who mistakenly got his dentures at the hospital. HE WANTS TO DIG UP A BODY SO HE CAN GET HIS DENTURES OUT OF THE CORPSE AND PUT THEM IN HIS MOUTH. There aren’t enough Caps Locks in the world to convey my displeasure. (The Post)
The only other exception to the “no digging up graves” rule is if you’re a hot vampire and you need to get outta your crypt to hot it up all over town. Such is the case with Colin Farrell here in this Fright Night character poster. I know Dustin posted Tennant’s poster yesterday, but Farrell is much better at pulling off the “I crawled out of my grave to have sex with your neck” look. Anton Yelchin’s poster looks pretty great too, if a little Elijah Wooden. (/Film)
They should release character posters for the Jurassic Park Blu-ray release. (JURASSIC PARK ON BLU-RAY!! I’M TRYING TO BE RESTRAINED HERE.) I’d totally buy a poster of a Doyouthinkhesaurus. (Film School Rejects)
I guess I’ve been overly chatty about my love for Midnight in Paris because Optimus Rhyme sent me not one but two links involving Ernest Hemingway. In My Daguerreotype Boyfriend we see a slim and handsome Hemingway (along with several other slightly out-of-focus hotties). In this second link about Literary Greats in their swimsuits, however, Hemingway is in full on Papa Bear mode. Miss Anne Sexton, however, is bringing the S-E-X. (Flavorwire)
Speaking of Literary Greats, Demetri Martin may not be a “Great,” but have you ever read his 224-word palindrome poem? It at least makes him a Literary Good. (Paste)
And in case, my down-to-earth darlings, you think today’s Pajiba Love is a smidge too snobby, let me remove all doubt. It is. Here is a great piece on how various Criterion Collection films correlate to some recent popular superhero flicks. It’s actually NOT pretentious and kind of fun…I thought…hey he mocks Blake Lively! So that’s nice. (Movies)
But if you’re going for superhero and pretentious, nothing beats these Hipster DC Comics Heroes. See? The relaunch COULD have been worse. (Bleeding Cool)
Okay, fine, you want your lowbrow? Here are the adorable Louis C.K. and Jon Stewart talking about farts. It’s pretty great. (Warming Glow)
There’s lowbrow and then there’s dumb. This tactless photo of Princess Diana on the cover of “Newsweek”? Dumb. Tina Brown (longtime friend of Diana’s) imagined what the Princesses’s life would be like if she were still alive. That’s bizarre enough but the photoshopped cover, with her modern counterpart Kate Middleton, is downright creepy. (Evil Beet)
I’m choosing to end this round on the links with something cheery. It’s a kicky new “Firefly” shirt. Seriously, this site is knocking it out of the park design-wise. (Qmx)
For the A/V portion of today’s Love, we have a delightful treat sent to me by Ambrose Kalifornia. Many of you were upset that I left Sarah Silverman’s epic cuss-fest from Way of the Gun off of yesterday’s Women Who Swear list. Well, fear not gentle readers, here it is as acted out by members of the Justice League. REALLY OBVIOUSLY CRINGINGLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK OKAY?
Finally, my bi-curious cuties, I meant what I said in today’s headline. Portman and Kunis should obviously make a film about having casual sex with each other. Leave Kutcher and Timberlake at home. Does Black Swan count? No it does not. There was NOTHING casual about that film. Someone’s done a mash-up of the trailers for No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits. We knew they were essentially the same movie (and that Kunis is sort of Eve Harrington-ing Portman…if you think about it), but this side-by-side comparison is particularly damning.
Joanna Robinson might cast Kunis and Portman in her film “Taming of The Shroom,” a sexy sapphic adventure of love, lust, tempers and hallucinogenics.
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