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Hush Now, Chris Pratt: Don't Make Us Unmake Fetch

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | April 21, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | April 21, 2017 |

We love Chris Pratt, but Chris Pratt should not talk. At least, not about politics. I mean, it’s bad enough that he made Passengers, worse that he’s still defending it, and now he’s like, “Hollywood doesn’t make enough movies about blue-collar white guys.” Yep. That’s exactly Hollywood’s problem. (Lainey)

Alex Jones, in the midst of his custody dispute, has asked for a mistrial after the jury heard him discuss Donald Trump’s Access Hollywood tape with Joe Rogan. “A woman climbing on top of you is not sexual assault, that’s what mammals do.” Alex Jones’ life should get a mistrial. (Uproxx)

Does it get worse? Yes, it gets worse. Alex Jones is asking for privacy during this ordeal A WEEK AFTER calling Obama an absentee father and suggesting that Malia and Sasha aren’t even his kids. (Twitter)

Speaking of nasty divorces, Scary Spice is in the middle of one, and the Nanny accused of sleeping with her husband and having an abortion is now suing Mel B. for defamation. And it only gets uglier. (DListed)

There’s been a Jessica Simpson sighting! Unfortunately, those pants … wow. Those pants. (GFY)

Ted Nuget debriefed everyone on his four-hour excursion into the White House. It’s about what you’d expect. (Celebitchy)

Trump should put more production value into his fascist agitprop.

Now we know why Roger Ailes hired Sarah Palin. (WashPo)

We didn’t review Phoenix Forgotten because it slipped our radar, but our own Jamie Righetti did review it elsewhere, should you be considering catching a horror flick this weekend. (FSR)

Sonia Shah says in Pandemic: Tracking Contagions, from Cholera to Ebola and Beyond, "Outbreaks are inevitable, but pandemics are optional." Doctor Douche has experience treating patients with exotic pathogens, but he was still surprised by how much he learned from Shah about how human action, and inaction, allow for the spread of disease and prevent effective treatment. So, what are you doing for Earth Day? (Cannonball Read 9)

Finally, the Fast and the Furious is getting a spin-off, and I love this idea, actually. (Slashfilm)

You F***ing what? British Pub Chain Bans Swearing | Damien Lewis Takes the Title for the Most Privileged Statement of 2017

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.