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Horror Stories About Ellen Degeneres? Inject Them Into Our Veins

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | March 22, 2020 |

By Lainey Bobainey | Pajiba Love | March 22, 2020 |


How’s everyone doing? I’m trying to strike a balance in Pajiba Love between “Holy crap, these are some scary times” and “It’s fine. Everything is fine. Look, the Kardashians are doing something stupid. Everything is normal, see?” I don’t know if that’s working for all y’all or not. I’m gonna’ play it by ear for now. However, please don’t assume that because we’re posting pictures of cute dogs and cats or celebrities being idiots that we’re not taking our collective situation seriously; we absolutely are!

Let’s start with frivolous: Royal-adjacent Kate Middleton’s brother throwing a social-distancing dinner party for his dogs. That hits on everything: dogs, semi-celebrity, royalty, social distancing, and Instagram. Boom! - (Delish)

It warms the cockles of my cold black heart to see so many citizens stepping forward asking, “How can I help?” during this crisis. It especially warms my cockles when I see a celebrity like Christian Siriano, say essentially, “We got this!” and they get to work making surgical masks for medical staff. - (Celebitchy)

You know what else warms my heart cockles (because I’m a terrible person)? When Twitter goes on a tear telling terrible stories about someone I don’t like. This time it’s horror stories about Ellen Degeneres AND it’s for a charity! Finally, the veil has been lifted and her true personality is being shown around the world instead of just to the poor unfortunate souls in LA who’ve had to endure working for her or waiting on her in a restaurant. - (Dlisted)

Worldwide pandemic going on, but hey, many Florida beaches are still open. Cool, cool, cool. - (R29)

Due to the pandemic, many businesses have shut down and that’s meant no work for their employees. One business in Portland, OR, got creative. - (WWeek)

Dr. Steven Wilson shared this in our Slack, “I don’t know which is more joyous: the fact Jake Johnson is doing this, or that the comments are just people asking if he’d also do it as Julius Pepperwood for quarantined adults” - (Reddit)

Also kind of joyous - what people will do after days of being stuck together.

People on Twitter shared pictures (and stories) of the most valuable items in their homes. - (BP)

Oooooh, Val Kilmer has a memoir coming out in mid-April! I mean, it’s not that I want this social isolation thing to go on any longer than is necessary, but I’m just saying, if it’s still going on in mid-April, I’m pretty stoked to have a lot of time on my hands to read that book! - (Lainey)

Fuckin’ Nazis. As if the President himself wasn’t making the pandemic worse than it should be, the goddamn Nazis are out there with plans to weaponize the virus. - (The Root)

Jeverett15 expected Stephen King’s The Institute to peter out in the end, but he was ok with that because the journey was so satisfying. "King also builds the world of The Institute in terrifying detail." Are you ok with some flaws if the rest of the book is a good read? (Cannonball Read 12)

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Lainey is the copy editor & linkmaster. You can Tweet at her on Twitter.

Header Image Source: Getty Images