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Holding Out For A Hero

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 11, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 11, 2011 |

First of all, I think your Link Wench was drinking some haterade this morning because there’s more bile than usual in this round up. And for that I don’t really apologize. Haterade means never having to say you’re sorry.

According to her physicians, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords has 100% chance of surviving her gunshot wounds. Rah. I realized, last night, that I had been sort of holding my breath waiting to see how Colbert and Stewart would react to the events from the weekend. They never disappoint. If you missed it, The Huffington Post has a round up of their reactions. My favorite quote comes from Colbert: “Did we pick someone to blame yet? Well get on it, I look like an idiot out here.” (HuffPo)

Oh, “Glee,” you exist mostly for me to mock you at this point. Here is the first look at their upcoming “Thriller” number. Either I’m digging on the zombie footballers, or it’s true what Vincent Price said, no mere mortal can resist the evil of the thriller. (i09)

That story last week, of Ted Williams, the homeless man with a gifted set of pipes, warmed my heart’s cockles. This video returns said cockles to their original blackened and frost-bitten condition. Indianapolis’s Fox 59 took to the streets to try to find another similarly gifted homeless person…and made the homeless folk that they interviewed sing. Like performing monkeys. Seriously, I’m shocked. And I’m hard to shock. (Warming Glow)

I don’t know what it is about this photo, but I can’t look away. Very safe, totally safe, entirely safe for work. (Blog of Record)

So Lindsay Lohan, the train wreckiest of Hollywood personalities, has hitched her wagon to the brightly burning star that is Tom Hardy. See? This news upsets me so much I’m mixing my mode of transportation metaphors. Back off, Linds, lest your particular brand of crazy be catching. (Celebitchy)

I think this termination letter is worthy of your perusal for the words “bovine” and “porcine” alone. Did this kid deserve to get fired? Yes. Did he go out in a blaze of glory, math and pizza toppings? Also, yes. Though, truth be told, it’s only my second favorite way someone has left the fast food industry. (imgur)

For your edification, Wikipedia has amassed a list of common historical and scientific misconceptions. I’ve got two issues with this list. A) It comes from Wikipedia…not a certified reference in the first place and B) the only way to share this information is in a sentence that begins with the highly intolerable, “Actually, [condescending chuckle] that’s a common misconception…” Also, the list claims Vikings never wore horns on their helmet. I don’t want to live in a world where that is true. (Wikipedia)

I have a lot, many, too many issues with the concept of supportive undergarments for pregnant ladies. My sister is uber pregnant right now, so I can’t argue with the back support element of this product, but the idea of using it as a slimming aid…WHEN PREGNANT…makes me stabby. Oh, and, surprise, it’s maybe not good for your baby. (Guardian)

This weekend, the Wall Street Journal published an extract of Yale Professor Amy Chua’s upcoming book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.” In this extract, Chua uses what is, in my opinion, execrable and racist arguments to defend her harsh mothering tactics. (WSJ)

The internet is basically aflame with folks denouncing Chua, but this blog has my favorite, and most profanity-laced, response. (Resist Racism)

Over at Racialicious, they called that above rant a “Cee-lo Green style take down” and that makes me want to share this AWESOME sign-language performance of “F*ck You.” Seriously, I’m excited that I can now sign “gold digger.”

And finally, a story that put a grin on my face. Vigilante crime-fighters!! I’m in love with the word vigilante, and with this story in general.

Joanna Robinson sees you driving ‘round town with guy she loves and she’s like [violent hand gesture]. If you’re more Atari than Ferrari, you can email her here: [email protected]

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