Hey, Jason Aldean, Butler Is a Small Town, You Dolt

A day after Donald Trump survived a shooting at his rally in Butler, PA, Jason Aldean took the stage in Nashville and dedicated his hit “Try That in a Small Town” to the former president. Of course, this is freaking hilarious because Butler literally is a small town deep in the reddest parts of the state, and guess what? It was tried there, cowpoke! I mean, Christ, the shooter belonged to a gun club and used to wear hunting gear to school. That’s about as small town as it gets, and you know what happened: Everyone scattered as they should. No salt of the earth, swinging dick from the diner pulled up in his F-150 and saved the day. The Secret Service got the guy, but only after it was too late because guns are lightning-quick killing machines that way too many people have easy access to thanks to small-town voters who think they need them in case Obama comes a callin’. (Variety)

Jennifer Lopez maintains her connection to Ben Affleck’s kids by spending time with Violet in the Hamptons. (Lainey Gossip)

Did Kim Kardashian’s Cybertruck slice the tip of her finger off? (Celebitchy)

The clearly woke WSJ explains just how bad inflation will get if Trump wins. (Wonkette)

From Jen: We all need something to look forward to. (Threads)

“The Cayman Islands wouldn’t give me a work permit” is probably not the sympathy grab Armie Hammer thinks it is. (IndieWire)

Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Hilaria was ordering. And by Hilaria I mean Hillary Lynn Hayward-Thomas, who’s four years younger than me. What the hell? (Page Six)

Ana Navarro correctly noting that the Trump shooter was a disturbed white boy with a gun is not a partisan talking point. It’s the truth and how 99% of these things shake out. (Mediaite)

Does this mean Sabrina Carpenter is a Scientologist, too? Oh no. (Rolling Stone)

Katy Perry just flopped so hard it’s shocking. (Daily Beast)

While on hiatus from Cannonballing, Mrs. Julien dove into the Kate Canterbary universe and brings us both a review of Shucked and recommendations for further reading. “The writing is heartfelt and the characters sincere without ever losing the lightly heightened sense of reality I look for in these books.” Which authors’ backlists are you prepared to recommend? (Cannonball Read 16)

From Kayleigh:

Flavor Flav supporting the women’s water polo team is one of the best stories in 2024 🥹 pic.twitter.com/EJ0zwxl1sx

— maddy 🍉 (@phxsunz25) July 15, 2024