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Helena Bonham Carter Is a G*ddamned National Treasure. I Don't Care If She's Not Of This Nation Or, Possibly, This Planet.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | July 14, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | July 14, 2011 |

If you notice, my dears, that today’s Pajiba Love is a little slapdash, well that’s because I’m moving my entire life today. In my car. The links are grade-A koala-tea, but the descriptors might maybe be a little lacking. Apologies, my little packing peanuts. I’ll make it up to you somehow. First of all, my rapacious red envelopes, we were discussing earlier this week whether it was prudent to make a switch when the new Netflix pricing system goes into effect. Here’s a handy little tool that will analyze your account and tell you which option is best-suited for your particular habits. Thanks, Even Stevens! (Reuters)

I know this, if they started streaming those classic 90’s Nickelodeon shows, I would never give up streaming. Well, thankfully, if you HAVE Nickelodeon, you can watch them during a new nostalgia-fueled midnight block. Go ahead, swim around in it until your fingers get all prune-y. I still know all the words to the “Salute Your Shorts” theme song. (Jezebel)

Speaking of nostalgia, I may never get over the loss of “Firefly.” These shiny Art Nouveau-style (if not exactly Art Nouveau in every way, my stubborn sticklers) are gorgeous. Inara on my wall? Yes please. (QMX)

I know, I know, some people don’t get the “Firefly” love. That’s okay. Speaking of folks who don’t get things, read this little interchange between two (somewhat snooty) Slate writers who saw the most recent Harry Potter film without having read a page of the books nor seeing any of the previous films. It’s pretty adorable. (Slate)

For those of you feeling bereft with no more “Harry Potter” books to read, a cute little NPR intern has some suggestions for adult books that can take their place. Oh, cute little NPR intern, you really think “Ender’s Game” is an adult book? Okaaaay. How about you, my earnest erudites, do you have some replacement Potter book suggestions you’d like to share with the class? (cute NPR intern Ender’s Game NPR)

I also know some of you don’t get the “Doctor Who” love. And that’s fine. But I defy the cold cockles of your heart not to be warmed by this story of a girl who had her TARDIS stolen only to be replaced by some kindly, nerdy, computer-type people. And here you thought reddit was only good for trolling. (Warming Glow)

You know, even when Helena Bonham Carter resembles a troll, I still find her magnificent. Here are some images of a batsh*t Helena and a radient Elle Fanning in a new ad campaign for Marc Jacobs. (Socialite Life)

Here’s something we can all get, I think. Muppet love. (No not that kind, you sickos.) This is a lovely post that examines some of the post-Henson muppetry and how it compares to the heyday. I gotta agree, nothing will ever top that cycling scene in The Great Muppet Caper. (Uproxx)

That makes me wonder what Charles Grodin is doing these days. Wouldn’t he make an excellent villain on a cable show like “Damages” or “Dexter?” Make it so, Hollywood! Well whatever Grodin is doing, let’s hope he’s not drinking too much water. You know why? Because, apparently, THAT might kill you too. I give up, I’m just going to smoke all the cigarettes and eat all the bacon and switch to one of these careers where it’s actually ideal to be obese. (11 Points)

Speaking of cable shows, my brief flirtation with “Boardwalk Empire” is the only reason I have any idea what a “Paz de la Huerta” is. I never really got the fuss. Now with this totally (but not really, but kind of) NSFW image of her without a stitch on and covered in blood…well. . yeah…I sort of see it. (FSR)

I really cannot improve on the website’s description of this video: “This is horrifying. Professor Hideyuki Sawada of Kagawa University demonstrated this rubbery nightmare today that can imitate human speech. It’s only a matter of time before someone tries to have sex with it.” (io9)

If you didn’t watch the ESPYs last night, you missed the pride of San Francisco, Brian Wilson, in a spandex tux. You also missed the Incredible Shrinking Jonah Hill and WHO IN THE HECKFIRE IS LINDSEY VONN? Hotcha. Here’s a gallery of ESPY highlights. (Sf Gate)

You know I’m prObama, right? I don’t want to offend people who aren’t, but if you want to be all nObama, that’s fine, get your own link dump. In the meantime I’ll be coveting this T-Shirt. (Spreadshirt)

Also, I’m an atheist. I don’t talk about THAT a lot either because I don’t think it’s all that important that you know. However, this adorable link sent to me by Emcee Peepants about a Pastafarian who successfully petitioned to be allowed to wear “religious headgear” in his driver’s license photo cracked me up. (BBC)

Finally, my unctuous ukuleles, you know how I said I could play? We-ell, I can really only play, like, ten songs. But, hey, this is one of them! Here are Zooey Deschanel and Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio! Dance up on me!) performing “Tonight You Belong To Me.”

And, finally, thanks to Dan Carlson, all the y’alls from the lovely Tami Taylor of “Friday Night Lights.”

Joanna Robinson highly recommends “Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell” as an adult “Harry Potter” replacement. She can’t wait to read your suggestions.

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