Gosh, I wonder what the “family values” party will think about the latest security video of Congresswoman Boebert getting her boobs rubbed while she’s doing some reciprocal penis rubbing of her date at the theatrical production of the Beetlejuice musical, you know, in between her vaping, singing loudly, taking pictures, and otherwise comporting herself like the true classy gem she is. - (X, which used to be Twitter)

While the “family values” party is busy ignoring Grandma Lauren’s antics, maybe they’ll be interested in the reported “yearslong” affair between Governor Kristi Noem, “God-fearing” married mother of three, and Corey Lewandowski, married father of four? - (VF)

Drea de Matteo (from The Sopranos, mostly) earns her living nowadays on OnlyFans. She says it’s because she wouldn’t get the COVID vaccine. I think it’s because she kind of sounds like she might be a moron no, jackass no, moron, yeah, moron. Tomato/tomahto. - (AVC)

Speaking of jackassy morons, following the backlash after their letter supporting rapist Danny Masterson, Ashton and Mila have resigned from their positions with Thorn, the anti-sex abuse non-profit that Kutcher co-founded. - (CNN)

The eBay auction items to benefit the striking movie & TV crews are so great! It’s a shame more of us aren’t flush with the cash to bid for a watercolor portrait of our pets by John Lithgow or help with the NYT crossword puzzle from Natasha Lyonne and her dog Rootbeer (ROOTBEER!) -(Celebitchy)

In news that is likely only interesting to me and maybe 5 other people who read this, Rena Sofer’s Lois Cerullo is coming back to Port Charles after 26 years. Will that bring me back to General Hospital? No. But I might have to check out some YT clips of Lois and Ned Ashton/Eddie Maine for old times’ sake. - (EW)

There are at least 34 symptoms of perimenopause and menopause (I swear I feel like I’m experiencing all of them this week). Here’s one we haven’t talked about yet. - (SM)

The Scott Pilgrim cast email chain was resurrected after years of silence by Michael Cera’s random reply to a 9-year-old comment and now the whole original cast is back voicing their characters in the upcoming anime series Scott Pilgrim Takes Off. - (Variety)

Also reuniting, the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer sans Buffy for a Spike-focused Audible original story. - (Variety)

Steve Martin has rebutted Miriam Margolyes’s version of their time together working on Little Shop of Horrors. - (THR)

Dear god, to have the confidence of Jodie Turner-Smith and the body to go with it! She dressed for Vogue World like the gift she is. - (BET)

Other people were at Vogue World too. - (GFY)

Oh wow, I totally forgot about Jeremy Renner again! It looks like he’s recovering well and is there maybe something going on with him and his ex-wife? Nearly dying does something to people… - (Lainey Gossip)

There’s exaggerating and embellishing and then there’s completely fabricating stories that didn’t happen and pretending it did. If Hasan Minhaj does become The Daily Show host, I’ll have a hard time taking his word on things. He’s not only obnoxious, his stand-up is sketchy AF. - (The New Yorker)

Goma! HOMG, GOMA!